“Jane, this is another clematis!”

Woogs are travelling as guests of Singapore Tourism.

Sometimes when the kids have been totally feral on the weekends, Mr. Woog will take them to the local nursery as punishment. I know this seems strange, but plants are universally boring for children, and they have acres of gardens to bitch and moan about while Mr. Woog can get some shopping done, for he is a green thumb of the highest order.

So when I told Horatio that we were going to a garden yesterday, the moaning came swiftly.

We were off to not just any garden, but Singapore’s Gardens by the Bay. To be honest, I was a bit ho-hum about it all too, but Mum, another green thumb, was beside herself! When we arrived with out guide Jane, I knew that we were not in Eden Garden Land Nursery by any stretch of the imagination.

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Indoor, air-conditioned gardens! It was something quite spectacular. So much so my inner tourist came out in me…



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Jane proudly told us about each section including pointing out a one thousand-year old Olive tree.

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“Cost a lot of money. We bought it from Spain.”

It seems that if Singapore doesn’t actually have something, they are willing to buy it from other countries. Like just that morning we were at the Natural History Museum looking at huge full-sized dinosaurs, when I asked them where they were found.

“Cost a lot of money. We bought them from Wyoming.”

Such is the economic dedication of Singapore to have the very best of all of the things.

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Jane’s narration of the gardens was nothing compared to Mum’s knowledge of the foliage. She gasped at every turn.

“Jane! This is another clematis!”

“I grow these ones at home!”

“I have never seen anything like this before!”

“This is the national flower of South Africa…”

She was very, very happy.

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Meanwhile I discovered, along with gin and other booze, tequila came from a plant. GREEN SMOOTHIES FOR EVERYONE!

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Today I am cycling though a village, going Go-Kart racing and then heading out for an evening with local WoogsWorld readers, all who seem fairly piss fit from what I can gather. If you do not hear from me, please contact Singapore General Hospital.

More info about Gardens by the Bay, click here.

Have you been? Isn’t it incredible?

What else should I be doing this week?