The Mummy Makeover


Yesterday I was toiling away while listening to a bit of talkback radio. I really shouldn’t, but sometimes I feel like hearing outraged pensioners bang on about the cost of electricity. Or people calling in and saying that they cannot get a job because they will miss out on watching Ellen.

I am rarely surprised by talkback, but it was one advertisement that puzzled me so.

It was a gentleman voice telling me all about the benefits of having a Mummy Makeover. A mummy makeover is a plastic surgery procedure that puts your boobs back into their rightful place, and the same as your guts. Grab it, shake it up and down and cut off the slack.

I don’t care if you want to get plastic surgery. Your body, your choice. But what sort of shat me off was the manner of which the message was delivered. Which went a little something like this…

“Being a mummy is the most important job in the world. But when you have finished having children and are ready to go back to work, come and see Dr Slashyguts at The Perkytit Institute so you can be the best version of yourself possible.”

I think it was the casualness of it all, the way that we should be embarrassed or ashamed of our post baby bodies. I mean, lets face it, my baby weight was, and continues to be very sticky. I have even managed to add to it!

On the flip side, you have all these social media fitness guru mums out there who walk out of the hospital with their new baby and a six-pack, and everyone loses their shit about it. (Although I do worry about their pelvic floors when they are doing lunges a few days after delivery – SHREDDED) “What a bad example!” I hear the cry.

But really, isn’t that what they do? Their whole career is about their looks. (I know, what a boring job!) If the rest of us lived their lifestyle of exercise, exercise and nutrition, then no doubt we would all be a little more hard bodied. You have to hand it to Michelle Bridges who has managed to squat her way to a 67 million dollar fortune. SQUAT SQUAT SQUAT KER-CHING!

Maybe that radio ad pissed me off because it featured a dreamy voiced bloke. I dunno. Is this the new normal?

Have you had a Mummy Makeover?

Considered one?

How would you describe the current state of your chesticals?

(Mine? Geographically very unstable)