How to get out of Jury Duty

Im-with-stupid1

I blame the whole thing on Tony Abbott and my utter dislike for the man. You see, last election I realised that I hadn’t changed my details which had me in a different electorate. Where I live, the Labor Party is a dirty word and I don’t even think they bother putting canvassers out on Election Day. Anyway, that election I voted Green as a one woman protest at the then (and still) current state of affairs.

Anyway, that little change in my election enrolment was, I suspect, the reason that I got a notice in the mail telling me that I had been shortlisted for Jury Duty. I had bought attention to myself. I scanned the letter, filed it in the bin and promptly forgot about the whole thing.

Some months later, I got a letter telling me I was to present myself to the NSW Supreme Court room at a certain date where I would be considered as a member of a jury that will oversee a trial for four, to possibly six weeks.

Four to six weeks? Those in the know are probably working out right now that this was not going to be the case where a couple of teenagers knocked over the Quick-e-mart. This was a serious, serious case.

So, I stuck that notice on the fridge, and yes. I promptly forgot about it.

A few weeks later, I was about to do my daily fridge investigation where I try to uncover something delicious which always leaves me sad, when the letter caught my eye.

“Oh, I must do something about getting out of that…” I thought to myself. On inspection I realised that the Trial started on Monday. And today, the day I read it, was Friday.

….fuck

I thought of all the things I could do to get out of Jury Duty. They included, but were not contained to the following;

  • Turn up in a t-shirt that said I’M WITH STUPID —–>
  • Turn up quite drunk
  • Tell the selectors that I am excited as I am going to live tweet the entire trial
  • Tell everyone how racist, sexist and homophobic I am
  • Explain to the selectors that this is the first time that I have been away from my cult family
  • Moonwalk into the selection room and moonwalk out
  • pretend I had Tourette’s Syndrome

In the end that all seemed like hard work so instead I popped up the my GP and explained the situation. Now the one good thing, and the only good thing about having an anxiety disorder is the IT CAN GET YOU OUT OF JURY DUTY. My doctor wrote the most amazing letter, honestly the woman should quit her job and become a novelist, which the court accepted and now I have been struck of the registry, for life.

Yes, I got life.

I know some of you are sitting there, reading this and indeed judging me for turning my back on my civic responsibilities. I will plead guilty on all charges. But a certain notorious corrupt policeman and a murder trial would not a happy head space make.

Have you ever done Jury Duty?

Ever weasel your way out of it?

Tell me all!