Menu Envy

I read an article the other day about Sydney Fancy Pants CELEBRITY Chef Neil Perry and his new restaurant called Eleven Bridge. I thought for a moment he must have just looked around and named two things. I can do it now! Glass Mouse. Mortein Apple. You have a try! It’s easy.

Turns out that Neil was just lazy, as it is the actual address of the restaurant.

But it is not the name of the place that made it a story. It was the prices. Entree? Hand picked mud crab salad with salted duck egg mayonnaise coming in at $54. I can get two serves of this dish out to market for $8.29.

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Of course I am being facetious! But how about that tricked up mayo up there. PRAISE JESUS INDEED!

For main, I would suggest you try the Chinese roast pigeon (or as I like to call them, rats with wings) which is served with a native tamarind hot, sweet and sour sauce. This bird will set you back $72. Do you know how many RSL schnittys you can get for that? I am guessing a lot.

I will skip the dessert as I am not a fan of fruit based dishes, but it will cost you 26 dollars if you want a serve of apricot fondant.

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When dining out, do you ever suffer from Menu Envy? It is when the dishes are bought out and you immedialty know that you have royally fucked up. I am genius at doing this. To try and avoid this, I now always ask the wait staff what they would recommend. And then I always go against their advice and choose something that is not what I really needed to eat. I try to avoid the word POACHED anything. Poached chicken, poached pair… poach. I don’t even like the word.

Then I sit there and watch my mates tuck into better options. It is torture. Roasted whatever with lashings of cream based sauces. DROOL.

In days of yore, much much yore, Mr. Woog and I were travelling in the Czech Republic as backpackers. We were living on a handful of koruna’s a day. On one occasion, we went to a dining hall where it would appear that all of the local tradesmen ate. (They also drank beer with breakfast!) We lined up and pointed at various things which were slopped onto our plate. We were going on visuals only. We sat down and cautiously started to pick at the offering. And that, my friends, is how my beloved and my good self first discovered tripe. Tripe is cow guts for those not in the know. This is why I am suspicious of unknown foods.

Are you planning to dine at Eleven Bridge?

What is the best (or worst!) thing you have ever ordered at a restaurant?

Pigeon. Is this the new super protein?