Why is it so hard to say NO?


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I have a very good friend of mine who is excellent at saying “NO”. She only knows one sentence in Italian, (which is one more than me!) and when I ask her to do something or go somewhere and it doesn’t work for her she says “Displace che non e possible per me” which when translated means “Sorry that is not possible for me!”

I appreciate her honesty. She is very generous with her time and will 100% drop anything, and has done so for me, when a critical situation arises. But she knows her limits and sticks to them. RESPECT!

Recently I was asked to do something that I really felt I needed to do. But the timing was really out. No matter which way I came at the problem, I could not make it work. It was very annoying and frustrating as I am a bit of a people pleaser and hate letting folk down. But recently I have started to recognise that I cannot please everyone all the time.

The problems that can arise from being a YES woman can escalate quickly, to the point that you end up being the sounding board for everyone’s problems. Fuck, I know. I sound like a selfish cow now and that makes me all moooey, but since using the word NO in my vocabulary more and more as I get older, I have got a little more time on my hands and positive space in my brain.


It was like one time I went to my boss and had a massive bitch about how my team only ever came to me with their problems. “Welcome to management!” she told me before asking me to shut the door on the way out.

Truth is, some people are great with decisions and directions, whereas other people find the whole thing a giant pain in the ass.

And as you get older, your bullshit radar gets more and more fine tuned. You are able to assess quickly those people who are good for you, and those people who can be a little toxic.

What I have come to is the conclusion that people do not mind when you say no to them. In fact in most cases, they will be happy with your honesty. Please remove the guilt as well. So the next time that one-sided friendship toxic person asks you if she can drop her kids off to you on a Saturday afternoon so she can get her nails done, and it doesn’t suit you at all, remember…

“Displace che non e possible per me”

Do you sometimes find your brain saying NO but your mouth saying YES?

Or do you have this scenario totally sorted?

Has saying YES ever made you feel annoyed?