Why the Daily Mail Fashion Writers should be beaten with a flocked coat hanger.


Ah, you have to love the red carpet media coverage of a Football Awards night, don’t you? While some of these lovely ladies look right at home in front of the camera, I bet my bottom dollar that there are dozens who are all like  “Dwayne, just go by yourself…. I want to stay in to watch Australian Story….”

I think a lot of them don’t want to go, because they fear the Daily Mail’s ridiculous use of the English written word, when describing the WAGS on the red carpet. My case in point…..

Courtney slid down the red carpet in a slinky fuchsia number that revealed a generous glimpse of cleavage. The brunette’s beauty frock left little to the imagination thanks to it’s (sic) figure-hugging fabric and barely-there torso.

Did you slide Courtney? Did you? I am sorry that a script writer for home-made porn from the 70’s was assigned to write this story….

Fashion, like art, is completely subjective. Remember the divisive leopard print post I wrote a while back? Completely threw a cat amongst the pigeons but I stand by my words.

Daily Mail… I mean COME ON!

Meanwhile her beautiful brown eyes, highlighted with smokey eye make-up, stared sultrily (is that even a real word?) into the camera lens for each picture perfect shot.
A pair of nude coloured strappy heels accentuated her model height on the evening, as she confidently sashayed down the red carpet.

Grasping at straws here, but at least there was a correct example of the use of an apostrophe of possession…

Hawks player Jack Gunston’s WAG Dani Shreeve was a picture of elegance as she made a glitzy appearance on the red carpet in a silver sequin-encrusted halterneck gown.

Please remove my eyes with a teaspoon now… FLAUNT DRAMATIC LADYLOVE!

Brad Ebert of the Port’s partner Rebecca Ebert was certainly not shy to flaunt some flesh at the event. She sauntered out in a black gown with lace embroidery that barely covered her breasts. The dramatic frock featured a shimmering silk skirt with dramatic split detailing at its front that revealed her strappy black heels. Brad joined Rebecca on the red carpet to pose arm-in-arm with his ladylove.

Fuck the dress! Perhaps Jessie had something to say. Did you actually interview any of these people Daily Mail?

Allowing her dress to do the talking, Jessie made sure to keep her hair and makeup look minimal.

What’s another word for DO?

With her raven locks pulled back into a sculpted ‘do, the fair-skinned beauty showcased her killer curves in a form-fitting thigh-split gown with single shoulder detailing.

Ok, so my point is, these all look like beautiful women. But can you put yourself in their shoes for a moment and imagine the stress that must go on behind the scenes to get to this point. Knowing that you are going to be judged for absolutely EVERYTHING, all because you have a boyfriend who plays football. And another thing, who are we to judge them, as we sit there in our pull on Katie’s 360 stretch jeans with a top with flecks off coffee on it.

Daily Mail Fashion writers. Do better.

Are you a couch sitting fashion critic?

Or do you just don’t give a damn?