There is no such thing as good grief.


Grief has been my constant companion this year. Sometimes it leaves me alone for a while, only to jump out at me like some menace and scare me back into sorrow. Some days are ok, while somedays are complete torture, where I cannot wait for the sun to go down so I can go to bed and escape it.

I am not sure whether that is helpful, but you do what you need to I suppose.

This week, grief has come back, all guns a blazing following the loss of a very dear friend under tragic circumstances. I am very teary and very sad. They say that grief is the price you pay for love, but fuck…

What I do know about grief is the more you ignore it, the worse it gets. It will not go away in a month, or three months or even a year. It changes though. Time does make the pain fade away and you can start talking about your loss without crying. Apparently. You are often advised to “Stay Strong” but why?

There are five stages of grief.

  1. Denial
  2. Anger
  3. Bargaining
  4. Depression
  5. Acceptance.

And my friends, I am well and truly in stage 4, with a Stage 2 hangover. An emotional shitstorm. Breathe. A good article… here.

What is your experience with grief?

Why are we so bad at handling death?