10 Signs the end of the school year is nigh!


Oh yes it’s that time of year again, where both you and your crew are completely over the daily grind. Up at 7am, making coffee, a smoothie for one, some weetbix for the other. Fucking sandwiches that you know will not get eaten. Scrambling to find the missing shoe and fuck off homework.

The old end of the year roundabout is being cranked up, so I thought I would pop the kettle on and have a little chat.

Here are the signs to look for, as you hurl towards the last day of school.


Trump? Who’s that? We have a candidate in the house whose address to the school included the fact that he has “Never been in trouble once…” He should so be a political adviser hey. There is a quiet confidence in his manner that he is rallying the troops, but he is up against some serious sporty alpha males. Could go either way.


Both gone and are not likely to be replaced at this late stage. Tackling this OLD SKOOL style. Enter the brown paper bag. (Which comes back completely the same as when it went. Full) What do you eat lads?


Just a visual for this one. End of life imminent.



Dance motherfucker dance! One concert down and four to go. Oh I mumble and I grumble but it is so worth it in the end! Those dance teachers are the business.


Sad, sad books missing covers and questionable contents anyway. They say Year Seven doesn’t really count. DON’T THEY SAY THIS???


Granted. The big one is still asleep.


Dirty and tight. No matter how long you soak those shirts in bleach, there are still pen marks all over then thanks to pen-fights.


Generally sour. Absolutely over-tired. Sometimes hysterical. And that is just me.


Legends. Deserve all the holidays they get. Need to get paid more. Don’t be stingy with the class collection.


Emotional. Completely done. STICK A FORK.

Have you got any more to add?

Do you recognise any of these happening at your joint right now?