I am breaking up with you

Like all new relationships, it starts out with butterflies in your tummy. The joy of discovering certain exciting things, spending as much time together as you can. This is the stuff that makes magic happens.

Then, as time goes by, you shift into the comfortable. Things get easy as your new routine presents itself. There can be the occasional quarrel, but overall you are happy with the way things are progressing. It is at this point that you start to think about the future, and wonder whether you are ready for a life time commitment. You consider getting a dog together.

But in some cases, things just are not meant to be. The arguments become more frequent and you grow weary. No matter how hard you try, you just do not feel like you are being listened too. You turn to your friends for advice, and they too have been through similar experiences. It is time to pull the plug.

I am breaking up with you.


For you are a taker. This has been a one-sided relationship for far too long and I am sick of putting in all the effort and getting NOTHING back from you.

You died in the ass at the beginning of summer, and so I called and spoke to a lovely man with a thick Indian accent and explained the situation. We spent a good hour “troubleshooting” before he advised me that indeed, you had gone to the big satellite dish in the sky. He told me, with much reassurance, that another would be on its way to replace you.

And nothing. Which didn’t bother that much because there was fuck all on the television because all the good shows had done into hiatus and there were only bad re-runs on anyway.

On the odd occasion, however, I did get resentful and I would call again, only to go through the whole conversation and be assured that they would order me another one. And that they had no idea what had happened to the last order. Perhaps they could not find my house?

Meantime, a large sum of money would come out of my account to pay you. Can you see why this relationship was doomed.

I am breaking up with you. No longer will I series link Shameless, or pause the news because the dinner is burning. But I know, deep down, that it is for the best.

Let the healing begin.

How do you watch TV?

  • Tracey

    We have Foxtel and have had no technical issues. BUT I am slightly underwhelmed by their offerings of late. You are most certainly not the first person I know of to break up with them.

    • They do not care for their customers

  • I too need to break up with Foxtel! It is only the sport that is holding me back. You may be the inspiration I need!

    • mrshanksy

      Yes! That’s what I was going to write. I’d be happy to break up too but what about Sport (and FoxSportsNews) and of course you have to pay for a bigger package (hehehe I said package!) to get the sport bundled in with it but I am seriously underwhelmed with everything else esp the cost!

  • No! We just signed up with Foxtel Play – internet streaming. It’s excellent and you don’t have to worry about actual people who need to fix things at your house. Well, except for your internet company, of course….

  • DVDs and Netflix. I hate TV. I like to watch things in order and it makes me wildly PO’d when TV channels try to hide which episodes are new and which are repeats – so I just wait and buy the DVDs. I’ve never had foxtel but is it true they have ads? So you pay for the service and still have to watch ads?

  • Whitney Beckett Sigler

    We have internet then Ruko with a lot of options /Netflex/Hulu/MHZ/ YouTube

  • Mel

    netflix ! Stan ! Free to Air ! The savings I make by not having foxtel go into seeing live bands at local pubs. Foxtel is such a rip off

  • I’m still a Foxtel girl. The good stuff is coming back – Nashville, Girls, and fab shows on the History channel.
    Will you be getting a break up haircut??

    • Libby


  • PHEW!!!! i thought you were actually breaking up with us!!! netflix is the way to go now.

  • Beth

    We had Foxtel for a short while through Telstra but since we could not tape it (only watch live), it was useless and we got rid of it. Now we mainly use Netflix (we swap between the US and Au one so can watch lots more stuff that way), free to air and internet. Occasionally I also buy DVDs. On Fridays nights we hire movies through Apple TV.

  • Kazzie

    No closed captioning in the chosen programs we picked years ago and gave them the flick after 3 months!

  • Karan_W

    Eh, for the first time in decades we had Foxtel connected in November. Absolutely hate it. Navigating the menu is a nightmare, it’s a constant process of troubleshooting and restarting. We’re going back to appleTV, which I loved for it’s simplicity!

  • Jane Wade

    Only keeping it for Game of Thrones then it’s GONE! We really only watch Netflix and Hayu(well, I do)?

  • Optus fetch box

  • Libby

    Yeah I’m sorry but my unhealthy gaslighting cohabitation is here to stay. I moved recently and so my beautiful Foxtel relationship was forced into a long distance – laptop watching – neck cricking – unsatisfactorily – needlessly hard new ‘space’. It was a ‘ journey’ of self discovery and I did not like what I found at the corner of boredom and despair. My partner was home when the Foxtel man came and the both took relentless delight in telling me how the whole 5 storey building required re-wiring to enable me to bring my Foxtel to life lol ICEHOLES both of them! Anyway say what you will about me… I applaud your courage to leave but I’m just not that strong ??

  • Caro Webster

    Good girl. I broke up with Foxfell sometime ago and haven’t missed it one jot.

  • We gave it the flick a year ago, but got it back for the rugby, no one shows the All Blacks over here on non-pay TV. But kids watch too much crap so am tempted to flick it again. I do like HBO though and tend to DL lots of shows from it. Hubby loves those shows where men with too much facial hair fix cars/bikes/fishtanks etc – and the kids are addicted to Bondi Rescue! Except for my son he loves Nat Geo – that alone is half the reason we still have it. I hope he’ll be the next David Attenborough! TRUE STORY x

  • I broke up with Foxtel after over 10 years 18 months ago. I’ve never looked back. The only shows they have exclusively that I want to watch (I’m talking less than 5) I could only watch if I signed up to all the different packages. That’s all well and good if you have a monopoly on good tv. Which you no longer have, Foxtel.

    I love Netflix, Fetch and free to air (iView is the BEST).

  • We got rid of Foxtel before Christmas e had kids. We found we watched the free channels more than Foxtel. These days I watch a lot of Netflix. So much cheaper!!

  • Netflix and we are still in the honeymoon phase 🙂 Sorry for your loss. I’m sure you’ll meet someone else much better suited to you.

  • Sally Rose

    We were with Foxtel since 1998(I think-a long time anyway) and gave Rupert the flick two years ago, as the ads were as frequent as free to air. Now in love with Netflix. Better service for a twelfth the price.

  • Never had foxtel. We’ve just moved to a house where the tv reception is so dodgy we can only get WIN (channel 10) on clear nights. That’s it. Also no netflix due to small data allowance (NBN is a total crock for rural and remote people). Have taken to buying tv series from op shops when in town. Picked up series one and two of Ballykissangel and series 1 of Offspring for $3 each. I dream of Netflix!

  • Amalia

    Please call them to get your money back. We had no Internet and consequently no Foxtel in demand for the first 5 months in our house. They have me my money back every month until I was satisfied with the connection.

    • Yes they are refunding the last 3 months which is great.

  • Heidi D

    We have never had foxtel. We have thought about it a few times but I have visions of us never leaving the lounge

  • Mighty Angel Girl

    Foxtel is the other woman in my marriage. I resent her immensely. Apparently she gives my husband what no one else can – all AFL games while living in a League state. He says I do not understand his needs like she does.

    He’s taken a break from her over summer and enjoyed the glory of free to air cricket. And while our bank account has felt the respite, he could not let her go completely. She left her IQ box behind as a constant reminder that she’ll be back.

    And she’s right. Come the start of football season, she will be – along with her ridiculous expense.

    • Apparently you can call them and ask for a discount. It is a very competitive market. Mr. Woog is insisting on keeping it because of the rugby and the Grand Prix but he doesn’t have to deal with them!

  • Just think of what you can do with all that free time you’ll now have previously spent channel surfing!!

  • Netflix baby….there’s enough to watch some good shows and yet not so much that you can waste too much time unless you find something you dearly want to binge watch….and it’s $11 a month! You don’t even notice it come out