All Those who Believe in Telekinesis, Raise my Hand

That headline up there? It isn’t mine. It belongs to comedian Emo Phillips, but I like it very much indeed and it is a great one to start off todays conversation.

Skepticism starts when you question why Santa was in one Shopping Centre, and then you see him again on a street corner a few minutes later. When you question your authoritative figure as to why this is, you are generally given some sort of vague explanation before the subject is quickly changed.

Well, that is what happened to me anyway. That was the moment that the seed of doubt was planted, that all in the world was not as it would appear. And then they fell, one by one.

The Easter Bunny, gone. So was the Tooth Fairy, but Santa was always the first to flee one’s young imagination. But strangely, the boogieman stayed around for a few more years, just to keep me on my toes…

I spent a few years in my 20’s being very suspicious at the world. I suppose you could have called me a skeptic. Being a skeptic was safe, but it was also a pretty grey way to live. Don’t get me wrong! The world needs skeptics to keep questioning theories and authorities. I just found it fairly exhausting to live in a negative space. So I opened my mind up a little to the universe and something was there.

 

A few years ago, I was travelling to a funeral of a dear friend with some mates, when I thought it might be a good idea to ask the spirit guides to help us get through what was going to be a tough day. So I asked them if they wanted to join in.

There was silence for about ten seconds, which was then followed by howls of laughter.

Jo and Shelley, I will never forget your reaction. molls.

I told them to piss off, and told them that my spirit guides told them to piss off also, and I sulked. I do not actually know whom my spirit guides are, but I know that they are around. When we arrived, I offered them a squirt of my Rescue Remedy, and again they both squealed with glee. I was in the company of confirmed skeptics.

Being a confirmed skeptic is actually very hard work, as far as I can tell. All of that questioning, research, reading theories and dissecting missing variables. Imagine being a Doomsday Prepper? All that angst and jumping to the worse case scenario. Mind you, if what they think is going to happen, actually happens I will be banging on the bunker door for a tin of beans, no doubt.

But right now I ain’t got no time for that! *finger snap head tilt jut hip.* I choose to go the other way.

The way that could very well have me laughed off this very screen. 

I go with my gut feeling. Whenever I am placed in a situation that appears to be a difficult one, or might have a very unpleasant outcome, I search inside my guts and stuff until it appears. Your first instinct is usually right.

Try journalling your thoughts. Write down your problems onto a piece of paper and try not to throw them through the washing machine and if you do accidentally throw them through the washing machine, take it as a sign that they were really not that important to you in the first place.

Meditate! My favorite. If like me, your mind runs at a thousand miles and hour, you need to stop and calm that motherfucker down. Spending time clearing your mind is a great gift that you can give yourself.

You might be a skeptic, or you might be a believer. Either way, I think we can all take something away from the marvelous Edina Monsoon, who said…

“Well, darling, just try to be little bit less Western in your thinking, if you can, please. I mean, you realize, of course, that in Zen terms everything in the universe is just molecules, don’t you? Ying and yong, ping and pong… Mmm? You know that, darling? These are my molecules and that’s your little clump of molecules over there, sweetie. I mean, in real terms, there’s no difference between me and the coffee, me and the table, me and a tree, me and Madonna, for God’s sake!”

How woo-woo* are you?

*concerned with emotions, mysticism, or spiritualism; other than rational or scientific; mysterious; new agey.