Marriage is the first step towards divorce

Let’s talk about divorce. I say this as many of my mates marriages are going in the bin at the moment.

Marriage is HARD. And on Valentines Day, you might ask yourself where did the romance go? And why is your partner such a douche at times?

For me, it is this.

UNTILL DEATH WE DO PART, does this annoy me! Every morning, as I scramble to the coffee machine, I am greeted with a plate and a knife sitting on top of the dishwasher. EVERY. SINGLE. DAY. And this in turn, makes me have substantial ill feelings towards my cherished beloved. Feelings that can last for several hours and which are made worse if he calls me to ask me some stupid question about something ridiculous. “Have you seen my thongs?”

The top ten reasons that people get divorced are as follows:

  1. High Expectations
  2. Adultery
  3. Compatibility
  4. Low Tolerance and Rigidity
  5. Harassment (I think this means nagging)
  6. Lack of Commitment
  7. Lack of physical attraction
  8. Family Pressure
  9. Lack of Communication
  10. Family Background

Nowhere on the list does it say speaking, snoring or leaving a plate of top of the dishwasher.

So what’s a gal to do?

Do I continue to be irritated by this one little habit and suffer in silence, or do I rein down on him like a rabid lizard queen, teeth bared with angry spite dripping from my tongue, as I fling that plate out of the window before bursting into uncontrollable hysterics while throwing myself onto my bed.

CAN YOU TELL THAT I HAD A CRAP SLEEP YET? 

The truth is, everybody has annoying habits. Me and the phone… the plate on the sink… the toilet roll fiasco that plagues women the world over. Taking money from your wallet, or leaving the car with an empty tank of petrol. Habits are extremely hard to break. It is a neurological thing, the absolute need to follow a pattern of behavior, even unconsciously.

But sod that. Just put the plate in the bleeding dishwasher!

What is it about your partner that you love and loathe?