You Can’t Come to My Party


Horatio’s Third Birthday Party

At the age of three, and four now that I think about it, my oldest son Horatio discovered his social currency. His Birthday Party. An invitation to this always simple affair was a hot ticket. For as soon as he learnt to talk, he became a mini tyrant. It lasted for about 24 months.

It first flagged itself when we used to take baby Jack to the cafe near our home, and the proprietor, a wonderful man called Jordan, would send Horatio over a mini-freckle cookie. He would look up at Jordan and would exclaim “You can come to my Party!”

At his daycare centre, the cook Lena would give him an extra serve of spaghetti bolognese and he would grant her with the ultimate compliment “You can come to my party!”

And walking down the street, well there was never a dog that he didn’t like to pat. Once he was patting a very friendly labrador when he stuck his hands around its neck, buried his face in its fur and said, in a muffled voice…. “You can come to my party….”

But it also worked the other way.


Horatio’s Fourth Birthday Party

I would often tell a very over-tired little boy that it was time for bed, and as I tried to calm him down and tuck him in of an evening he would bellow “YOU CANNOT COME TO MY PARTY!” Or perhaps his toddler brother would snatch a toy from him and Horatio would hiss “You cannot come to my party….”

Mr. Woog would sometimes tell Horatio that he had to try a new vegetable? And the party invitation was once again rescinded. Those parties! It was very hard to keep up with the guest list.

I was reminded about this little annoying, cute habit this week when I continued to watch on with horror at the behaviour of the new President of the United States, Donald Trump. And it bought me back to when I studying a little Childhood Psychology years ago. I won’t bore you too much with the nitty-gritty, but I am happy to share with you my theory and I would be interested to know your thoughts.

Donald appears to be stuck in the second stage of Piaget’s Theory, the Pro-operational stage associated with Egocentrism. This is usually where you will find the behaviours of toddlers, roughly aged two to five. (correct me if I am wrong please.) Generally speaking, in this stage you cannot use logic to combine or separate ideas. It is slightly linked with narcissism in a rudimentary way.

“His widely reported symptoms of mental instability – including grandiosity, impulsivity, hypersensitivity to slights or criticism, and an apparent inability to distinguish between fantasy and reality – lead us to question his fitness for the immense responsibilities of the office” – The Independent 

So in a way, Donald Trump is still a toddler trapped in a grown ups body. And like all negative behaviours, you are advised to ignore them. But in these disturbing circumstances, it is really hard to turn a blind eye.

Donald, you cannot come to my party. EVER.


  • Tracey

    No arguments from me. It’s like he is punishing everyone who he ever perceived to have done him wrong in some way. And to hell with the collateral damage. We are doomed.

  • vanessay

    I always said that Donald Trump has the behaviour of a man who grew up never hearing the word “NO”. His parents never said it, his wives never said it and his business partners never said it. On the ‘you can’t come to my party’ thing: Isn’t that how Bernie Madoff conned people out of millions of dollars? He made them feel as if they were all attending an exclusive party for smart, elite people who knew the secret of success.

  • Yep. Def yep.

  • Linda

    YOU can always, now and forever, come to my party. Brilliant Mrs Woog. Unfortunately it will be in Arizona. Not sure of which I am sadder- to live in Arizona or to live where such a horrid man was elected. Hugs to all of you

  • Cheekie

    Thank you for the link, I forwarded it on.
    He is unwell. For sure.
    I detest how he behaves and how he speaks, it’s inhumane.
    I am doing my low paid but terrific job in community nursing with more commitment and smile more now because I am committed to making the world a better place in my own way even though we have morons like this man and his vile policies.
    *****************Each and every person can make a difference **************
    If I had a party, everyone can bring a plate and come and dance. Maybe even him…

  • He’s definitely not an evolved person. Quite terrifying how much power he has.

  • LuLu

    ha! I met a charming little girl ( and her frazzled uncle) on the train the other morning. We discussed hot topics such as how good it would be to have a real monkey and agreed firmly that pink really IS the best colour. As they got off, a loud little voice announced in the stairwell to quiet carriage, ” Well Uncle Nick, SHE was just lovely. And over her shoulder she yelled back to me ” will you come to my birthday party!” Cue a whole peak hour carriage breaking into laughter….

  • Jenni Jones

    Trump is the classic poor little rich boy who thinks money equals power. He is so used to living in his own “trumpland” world where he rules over everybody, meaning poor little worker bees, that he now thinks he can carry that power over to his Presidency and hire and fire at whim. He also likes to scribble all over any policies he doesn’t like and sit there with his ducks bum mouth and draw up a new policy to sign in front of the press, as if to say, “I am the Presidnt and I can do whatever I want.”
    Sorry about the long post, but I am fired up today.

  • Sarah Watts

    i think you might be onto something -that is exactly his behavior!

  • I dunno, Mrs Woog… I think it’s a lot more calculated than the average toddler’s behaviour. He’s got where he is today by going straight over the top of anyone who gets in his way, and that’s his MO. And I can’t find it in me to subscribe to the theories of mental illness that are being batted around social media either – he knows EXACTLY what he’s doing. And that just makes it more scary.
    But, to lighten things just a tad…this pic popped up on my Facebook feed the other day.

  • No Trump at my party either. Although I am now busy organising a little 3 am party for all the locals wide awake because of the unnecessary road work noise. Yep we’re gonna bring our chairs and a little drinkie – not alchoholic cos it wouldn’t do to get arrested 2 nights in a row, so if Trump wants to pop in he might slip over his ego and impale himself on one of the fucking loud machines – that’d be 2 birds with one stone.

  • Nicola

    As a British citizen I have just had the pleasure of signing a petition to stop DJT coming to the party ( a state visit to the UK ). It will do bugger all too stop him I fear but it made me feel better.

  • Sally Rose

    Dunno about toddlers Mrs Woog, the man is a revolting arsehole.

  • FunMumX3

    Wowzer I might just write something serious here 🙂 I heard a super interesting radio doc a few months ago on the definition and characteristics of Fascism and Trump meets in almost every criteria. I am not smart enough to recall the details exactly but I was quite horrified. Things like…. claiming that one person alone can solve a problem (um that is not democracy that is dictatorship), saying that he will fix a problem but not stating the solution, dividing population with hate speech against a specific group/s. Mussolini, meet Trump. Y’all should get t-shirts.
    So Mrs. Woog, I take your uni psychology and add uni poly sci. And you are always welcome at my party!