Mrs Woog visits Cambodia – Part Two

So it turns out that the entire boat was not made up of Dutch and Danish tourists. There was also a solid Australian contingent, a couple of Brits, a delightful Welsh couple and a friendly Canadian. The first day was quite awkward, like the first day at school, or your first day at a new job. Many polite exchanges and courteous acknowledgements.

But it turns out we had joined what was to become a complete booze cruise. I likened it to Schoolies for Retirees, with the first beer being pulled at ten am. (Danish Man aged 67). I witnessed one lady go to the bar,(Dutch Late fifties) and watched her face turn to complete glee when it was explained to her that it was an open bar scenario. She skipped back to her table with her fists full of gin.

Now the problem with having free and easy access to alcohol when combined with being on a boat with not much to do is fairly evident. I mean there are only so many temples in which to gaze upon, so many sunrises and sunsets to admire and so many sit down meals to eat. So I surprised myself.

I went. To. The. Gym.

I did it! I went to the gym in my active wear while on vacation! I mean, I don’t even do it at home unless the Huffy Puffy Trainer to the moderately overweight turns up at my door and bangs on it until I answer. The gym was grim, my friends. A small, airless room in deep in the bowels of the boat with a sad looking set of weights, a yoga mat and a punching bag. I used all of the things. I worked up somewhat of a sweat and rewarded myself with some bacon.

That was it. I planned to so it each morning. So far I have only done it once.

Cambodia as a country, via the Mekong anyway, looks like what you imagined in your head. The river is still and wide, bookmarked with lush green fields with not a mountain in sight. Occasionally we would float passed a village, which were small cottages built on stilts. Lots of white Brahman cows hang around the villages and the people stop tending to their crops and cattle to wave at as us we pass on by.

The air is still, hot and humid while our cabin is small, dark and deliciously cool. It is lucky that Mum and I get on so well, as we are basically co-sleeping. This morning I stifled my laughter as I would listen to her gently snore, which in turn would wake herself up in shock before asking me a bizarre and irrelevant question, while she was still half asleep.

Another added bonus I am enjoying is extraordinary patchy wi-fi. So I could say that I AM OFF THE GRID. Sometimes I wonder whether Malcolm Turnbull is still the PM, or ponder whether Trump has started World War Three yet. But mainly I am joining the gang that is following the ignorance is bliss philosophy.

This afternoon we are going on another “excursion” to a floating village, which I know, is going to end with someone in the drink. Please don’t be me.

To be continued…