A Weekend Quickie with Lady Julia Morris


I first “met: Julia Morris via Twitter back in the day when it was not the shit storm it tends to be now. We would have witty discussions and laugh a lot. Anyway, I told her that I was going to see her stand up show the following week…

And she invited me back stage to have a drink!

FUCK! Fangirl moment. I was all like “Be cool Woog…..” but that was never going to be the case.

Anyway, we have kept in touch over the years and it must be said that I find her to be one of the most down to earth “celebs” on the planet. If you get the chance to go and see her new show Lift and Separate, please do. I can give you a money back guarantee that your investment in a set of TENA pads will pay dividends.

If you could do any job in the entire world, regardless of talent or qualifications, what would you choose to do?

I have feeling that I would make a rocking flight attendant. Maybe not so much in these PC heavy times… but in the days when you could chuck a bit of chicken or beef at people, have a bit of a chat & travel the world. What’s not to love? I know there is so much more to the job than that but stand by in case this showbiz caper doesn’t work out.

Tell me all about your first pet and how did it die?

Deefa… as in D for Dog. He was part Corgi and part Border Collie. My Mum always said that he was also part Kangaroo. Leaping the fence, he once followed us up to Mass & during the consecration he trotted up onto the alter licked Father’s shoes. Not ideal. One night our neighbour knocked at the door & told Mum & Dad that Deefa had been hit by a car and had been killed. Mum & Dad were so distressed that they didn’t tell us he was dead, just that he had ‘run away’. Years later my Mum told us that my brother & I would go and whistle for Deefa in the front yard for hours while she would hide in the kitchen and cry. Deefa. He rocked.
If faced with an open complimentary bar on a Friday night and you have a really good babysitter, what would you most likely order? And if they were out of that, what if your second choice?

My first choice would be a hot water. Second choice would be a cuppa. I’m not a great drinker at all. In fact I am a Chucka Khan. These days if I have just one drink, my hangover starts within the hour. I get so ill. Boooo for getting older. Stupid low blood pressure.

What is your secret food of shame. Something that you love but could never order in front of your healthy, judgemental mates?

Ok, Strictly between us? Tucky Chicky Pie. Translation? KFC original recipe. 3 pieces & chips. Use it in a sentance? Let’s get involved with some Tucky Chicky Pie. Please don’t tell the Acai Bowl Brigade. They will need to hit an Oxygen bar just to deal with it.

Who or what do you despise?
Being mean on purpose. I loathe it. In all of it’s forms. From bullying to just pain nasty. WTF is wrong with people? Social networking is a great example of being mean just for the sake of it. Feed it, don’t read it.

Who or what do you adore?
My family go without saying but my husband Dan does deserve a special mention. Like any couple, we have our ups and downs but he is one of the planet’s most exceptional humans and he is adored by anyone who crosses his path. Pure of heart and nutty smart.

What are you wearing right at this second and don’t lie to make yourself appear cooler than you actually are. Unless you are actually cool. Then tell the truth.
I am wearing a hoodie, big undies and a tissue. I have a shocking cold, so I’m attempting to fast track my recovery time with a steamer. Yeah. Celebrity life is so glam.

If you knew that you were going to pass into the next life tomorrow and was at peace with that, what would your “Day on a plate” look like right now?

We are mad for a pyjama day in our house… so my final day would have to be one of those. Pancakes, cuddles, take Tootsie the Portuguese water dog for a walk, followed by Dan’s infamous Bolognese, a packet of musk sticks and more kisses and cuddles with my core group. Family & buddies would come over for a fun dinner that must include vanilla ice cream, sandwiched between two freshly baked chocolate chip cookies for dessert. I will be more than happy to rest in peace.

What are you doing on the weekend?
House guests. Well, I’m not ‘doing’ them (inapprops) but I am receiving them…dear friends…in my private home. Actually two groups this weekend. Minimal crossover, Saturday lunchtime. I like to call it Celebrity BnB. As one family leaves, I’ve got sheets hitting the washing machine (short wash) for the next family to arrive. The thing is, I’m simply not busy enough, raising a family while preparing for my national tour opening in a week.

Time to flog yourself! What project are you currently working on and where can we find it?

I am about to head on tour with my new stand up show “Lift & Separate”. Running from May 5th till June 4th Australia wide. livenation.com.au for all details.


Anyone else coming to see her show?

Shall we meet for a drink beforehand?