The end of WoogsWorld

Or so I thought…..

On Thursday, about mid morning, it was bought to my attention that my blog was GONE.

“No biggie….” I thought to myself, thinking that some regular maintenance was going on behind the scenes. “It’s all good…”

I then went and spoke at the Mum’s Society event with a couple of Scallywags. I came away thinking that if my life as a blogger was over, I could always give stand up comedy a whirl….

Friday came and went. I was beginning to become a little concerned thinking about all the words and stories that were sitting on the site. Was I ever going to see them again? Having ownership of an over-active, go straight to crisis geared brain, of course I went into panic. Who was out to ruin me? Why was this happening? And the only logical option I could come up with was that I was being hacked by the Russians, for I hear through the grapevine that they are as shady as fuck.

So I checked the webside every few hours. In between that and impending panic attacks, I kept my mind pre-occupied with mundane shit. Like cleaning out my closet.

It was deeply cathartic and really took my mind off the fact that my one woman media empire was crumbling underneath me. Why did Putin want me ruined? Why? My beautiful mates knew that I was in distress and so kidnapped me for some lamb pancake and bubbles therapy. It helped.

I started talking about alternative employment options. I am not really qualified to do anything these days. I quite like the staff at Country Road in Chatswood Chase, so perhaps I could join that team? The manager there once gave me some dieting tips (swap wine for vodka) and another wonderful lady who works there is a WoogsWorld reader (she is always completely honest with me about my choices… “Not those pants dear…”) or maybe I could go upstairs and work in the homewares section with the awesome bloke who squeals with delight when you buy an overpriced throw. He is so lovely, he gave my a scented candle last Christmas!

My friend Sawhole came up with a comprehensive list of possible employment avenues.

  • Cat Trainer
  • Exotic Dancer
  • Gnome Handler
  • Winemaker
  • Dog Wrangler
  • Butcher
  • Baker
  • Candlestick maker

I started sliding into a little depression.

I have been doing this for a long time. I was supposed to write the final chapter! Was I planning on taking you all down in a small aircraft AKA Seinfeld style? Or, like in Friends, will we all stand around in a New York oft and place our smart phones on the table? Or perhaps, like Molly in a Country Practice, will the computer screen just fade to black…..

All the while, my fur babies kept their eyes open for signs of The Kremlin…

But then word came through that the Russians had been cyber-sorted out, leaving me hugely relived that the final chapter had yet to be written. The alcohol intake was increased over the weekend and now it is Monday. The start of a brand new week and a return to writing stupid stories about nothing much at all.

And that is a beautiful thing.

So, how was your weekend?

Survive any cyber-attacks from the Russians?