The end of WoogsWorld

Or so I thought…..

On Thursday, about mid morning, it was bought to my attention that my blog was GONE.

“No biggie….” I thought to myself, thinking that some regular maintenance was going on behind the scenes. “It’s all good…”

I then went and spoke at the Mum’s Society event with a couple of Scallywags. I came away thinking that if my life as a blogger was over, I could always give stand up comedy a whirl….

Friday came and went. I was beginning to become a little concerned thinking about all the words and stories that were sitting on the site. Was I ever going to see them again? Having ownership of an over-active, go straight to crisis geared brain, of course I went into panic. Who was out to ruin me? Why was this happening? And the only logical option I could come up with was that I was being hacked by the Russians, for I hear through the grapevine that they are as shady as fuck.

So I checked the webside every few hours. In between that and impending panic attacks, I kept my mind pre-occupied with mundane shit. Like cleaning out my closet.

It was deeply cathartic and really took my mind off the fact that my one woman media empire was crumbling underneath me. Why did Putin want me ruined? Why? My beautiful mates knew that I was in distress and so kidnapped me for some lamb pancake and bubbles therapy. It helped.

I started talking about alternative employment options. I am not really qualified to do anything these days. I quite like the staff at Country Road in Chatswood Chase, so perhaps I could join that team? The manager there once gave me some dieting tips (swap wine for vodka) and another wonderful lady who works there is a WoogsWorld reader (she is always completely honest with me about my choices… “Not those pants dear…”) or maybe I could go upstairs and work in the homewares section with the awesome bloke who squeals with delight when you buy an overpriced throw. He is so lovely, he gave my a scented candle last Christmas!

My friend Sawhole came up with a comprehensive list of possible employment avenues.

  • Cat Trainer
  • Exotic Dancer
  • Gnome Handler
  • Winemaker
  • Dog Wrangler
  • Butcher
  • Baker
  • Candlestick maker

I started sliding into a little depression.

I have been doing this for a long time. I was supposed to write the final chapter! Was I planning on taking you all down in a small aircraft AKA Seinfeld style? Or, like in Friends, will we all stand around in a New York oft and place our smart phones on the table? Or perhaps, like Molly in a Country Practice, will the computer screen just fade to black…..

All the while, my fur babies kept their eyes open for signs of The Kremlin…

But then word came through that the Russians had been cyber-sorted out, leaving me hugely relived that the final chapter had yet to be written. The alcohol intake was increased over the weekend and now it is Monday. The start of a brand new week and a return to writing stupid stories about nothing much at all.

And that is a beautiful thing.

So, how was your weekend?

Survive any cyber-attacks from the Russians?

 

  • Glad you’re back, my life was a little more boring without your blog posts to read and admire! x

    • That was a very long weekend xx

  • Heidi D

    so glad to see the blog is back, I was starting to get a bit worried. We did nothing at all over the weekend except sitting around & the only attacks I had to worry about were the attacks of moodiness periodically hitting our teen

    • We had those attacks here as well!

  • SO glad you got it sorted – I was panicking for you! Quiet times here…very cold in Melbourne and I’m hibernating til I can afford some more warm clothes that are presentable enough to be seen in in public!!!

    • Stay under the rug. This morning here was very cold and it was very hard to get out of bed. It took 3 attempts. xx

  • Those bloody Russians mucked with our farm website a few years ago. I cried tears of relief when Mrs D’s husband grabbed them by the scruff of the neck and turfed them out.
    I’d miss you if you worked in the Chatswood Country Road, it’s a very long drive! A x

  • Glad you’re back Mrs Woog! My little blog slips under the Kremlins surveillance so I tapped away all weekend. Your Instagram posts kept me going. Much love.

  • Maggie

    Doesn’t technology give you the shits!? No need to worry about developing nukes to attack another country – hacking into their computer systems is more effective and less expensive. P.S. your wardrobe cull inspired me. I spent all of Sunday relieving myself of 12 black garbage bags of clothes! They won’t even fit in my car in one load! Glad you are back on air Mrs Woog. There is nothing like a bit of the mundane to keep us all sane.

    • Oh Maggie well done you! Isn’t it cathartic? xx

  • Kim

    I’m a (fabulous) nobody but the Ruski’s attempted to log in to my Insta account, I was informed by the Insta Big Brother.

  • You have articulated the Russian attack with complete grace and dignity Mrs Woog – you know how to take the high road 😉

    • I have already prepared my revenge!

  • Welcome back. Your words were missed. Even if it was only for a few days. xx

    • Thanks Bec! Felt strange not writing for a few days xx

  • Hilarious Woogster, I have not thought of Molly dying for years! At the time it was about the saddest thing I’d ever seen on television. I think I was in year 12 at Shore, so I wasn’t allowed to cry, but gee I had to really force myself to not.

  • I never thought of gnome handling. My job search today suddenly seems less desperate, thank you.

    • I do believe that it is a growth industry!

  • Wendy

    I did wonder what was going on… and some other sites were down as well.. that naughty russian! SAF indeed!

  • Bronwyn

    You weren’t at Lee’s Fortuna Garden on Friday 5th May, were you? When you mentioned lamb pancakes it was the first place I thought of. If you were, I was in the same room!

    • Yes!

      • Bronwyn

        OMG! Breathing the same air! Mine was the large loud party up the back.