Falling Down

Towards the end of last year, my Dad suffered a fall. Being in his seventies, this is not an uncommon thing to occur. You always hear of people of advancing years (Don’t hate me Dad. Don’t strike me from your will!) “suffering a fall.” In fact, falls are the number one thing that will put over 65 year olds into hospital.

The most common fractures that occur from slip and fall accidents are fractures are of the spine, hip, forearm, leg, ankle, pelvis, upper arm, and hand. I am a black belt slip and fall victim. ย This one was quite dramatic. This one wasn’t that bad while this one was quite humiliating. I am not graceful by any stretch of the imagination. Horatio has the gene as well, having broken his arm once when he slipped over at Chatswood Chase. I remember Mr. Woog being quite cross about it as it threw out our plans to eat dumplings. “Just put some ice on it, she’ll be right!”

RELEASE THE STARE OF HATEFUL DEATH.

Anyway I have digressed dreadfully.

When news came through that Dad was in the hospital with a suspected fractured skull, I did the mercy dash across town to check that he was going to be ok. Now if you know my Dad, you will know that he has a very advanced sense of humour and so when the gags started I knew that he was going to be fine. I told him that he was not under any exceptions, allowed to kick the bucket because I didn’t think I could cope with that. So then he pretended to be dead. Anyway, months on he has made a full recovery and still goes to Church every Sunday to have a word with the big guy and thank him for helping him dodge a bullet.

But the fall did leave one legacy. He has completely lost his sense of smell. And I was reminded of this this morning when I found Horatio’s rugby bag full of damp socks and jocks and t-shirts, with the smell so strong it bought tears to my eyes and evaporated the hair in my nostrils. It was 100% gag worthy and made me think that emptying it into the washing machine was a job for Dad.

Have your oldies ever suffered a fall?

Perhaps you have a fall of note? Do tell!

  • Heidi D

    when my 14 year old was having a moment she stormed past me & I spun around to follow her, managing to propel myself forward. I face planted into the carpet & spent weeks looking like a school kid with scabby knees after the carpet burn ripped both knees up.
    I also have a really silly one. Climbing from passenger seat to drivers seat I slipped, belted my back on the edge of the seat & broke 2 ribs.
    mum has broken her ankle twice but didn’t have the excuse of age either time, clumsiness runs in the family. One of the times she was playing tennis, slipped & went over on her ankle but finished the game before going to a doctor…… it was broken !

  • Years ago, when Son No.2 was a toddler, I came a cropper climbing over the baby fence that closed the kitchen off to him and landed on my left arm on our terracotta tiled floor… My then husband was pretty blase after he’d untangled me from the fence and picked me up off the floor – ‘You’re just a bit banged around, you’ll be fine…’ type of thing… I wasn’t, and felt there was something very wrong with my arm but had to really nag to get him to drive me to hospital emergency, where the docs also went along with him, but did send me to X-Ray. And whaddya know…a non-displaced fracture just shot of my elbow…! One of those times that being right was a very mixed blessing. It couldn’t be plastered because I have RA, and where possible, they don’t plaster an arthritic joint because it’ll jam…so within two weeks, I had to have physio to mobilise it and keep it from freezing up – SO much fun…
    Dragon Dad broke his ankle at the end of a weekend in the Hunter, walking over wet grass in thongs carrying a box of wine to the car…ankle dislocated and shattered, wine OK…priorities…!

  • I threw myself off the chair onto the concrete floor cos a fucking bird flew into the house and scared the shit out of me. I am more than a little afraid of birds. I am too old to be throwing myself anywhere, unless it’s into a vat of slightly molten chocolate.

  • Donna

    It’s funny – a what age do we switch from falling over to “had a fall”?. The second being rightly more serious. And then there’s “had a bit of a turn”
    Glad your Dad is good.

    • sue

      you can tell you’re ‘old’ when you fall over & instead of your friends laughing at you they (& strangers) rush to make sure you’re OK

    • Sally Rose

      Degrees of seriousness, aren’t they.

  • Wendy

    I stacked it off a scooter at night and ended up with a massive bruise – I was just glad it was at night and no one saw me! (There may or may not have been alcohol involved) the bruise mutated into a seahorse! https://uploads.disquscdn.com/images/2291483237f3371a75ef6230140b554b3ab8323c700a2b4c34a1fa4bedcbb524.jpg

  • Bee

    my sister was mucking around and had a go on her son’s scooter, fractured her shoulder when she fell off. She was mid forties. Had to laugh.

  • “So then he pretended to be dead” ๐Ÿ˜‚ Did you pinch him for that? Glad he is okay. Xx

  • Caro Webster

    I got on a train once (back in the days of Melbourne’s red rattlers), sat down and prepared to enjoy the bucket of hot chips soaked in salt and malt vinegar I’d bought for the journey. The train took off in the wrong direction and my instant reaction was to leap off. Which I did. With a loaded school bag and my precious chips. We all went skidding across the platform and I landed on my bum, clutching the now empty bucket of chips, with the contents of my school bag strewn around me. The train screeched to a halt and E.V.E.R.Y. single door opened and everyone peered out. I almost died of embarrassment. The only thing that saved me was my determination that the millions of seagulls who hung around Flinders street station would NOT get any of the chips and I forgot my shame as I crawled around collecting chips. God I’m a dick.

    • FunMumX3

      You win. Brilliant ๐Ÿ™‚ Only laughing because that could be me.

  • Shell

    I took a fall and twisted my ankle while running for the Mr Whippy ice cream van. I was 28 years old at the time. It’s still makes me laugh to think about it!

  • Jenni Jones

    I missed the bottom step on our front verandah even though I have walked up and down those steps thousands of times. So, my forward momentum was working that day, so I just kept gaining speed as I crossed the driveway and was stopped suddenly and brutally by a paling fence. I thought I had broken my jaw and arm, and even with the help of city boy, I could not get off the ground. The Ambos could not believe how far momentum had carried me. Anyway, my jaw was not broken but the bottom half of my face was a deep shade of purple. I broke my shoulder in three places and my arm about 3 inches down from the shoulder. I have had 2 shoulder surgeries between 18th April and 10th may and I am looking forward to burning my sling in a couple of weeks time ,that I have had to wear 24/7 and being able to pull my pants up with 2 hands!
    Oh, I am 60….. does that make me elderly?

  • Hello there, I had a fall once. Well, it was a frosty night in Edinburgh and myself and an ex-boyf were dancing the Gay Gordons in the street. We then went on to a club and when he suggested going back to his place to rekindle old romance I gave the best knockback line of my life (so far): So sorry, I think I’ve broken my ankle.

    I had… and have, and this is 100% true, never drunk a margherita since.