How to manage paperwork

If you came to this blog for the first time because you googled HOW TO MANAGE PAPERWORK I apologise. Because I have no bloody idea. But as I continue to play grown ups, it is one of the most mystifying things ever.

Have you ever stopped to think about personal administration? Do you know how much paperwork is involved in the average persons life time? From the day you are born until the day you croak, there will need to be a form filled in. And when you have kids, it just gets ridiculous. You need to fill in a form to allow photos to be taken of them in the classroom. A form for participating in a fun run. A form for them to get their jabs and a form to say that it is ok for them to watch a sex-ed film. And now that things are going paperless, a lot of it has moved online which does make it difficult when you have to print it off and your out of ink and the school excursion starts in ten minutes so you screech up to the school gates and park illegally, run inside holding your chest because you didn’t have time to put on a bra, and beg the lady behind the desk for a form for the Year 5 excursion to the sewerage plant. Or so I am lead to believe……

Have you ever been woken up b y a child demanding your signature on something? You are not alone.

Today I was at the RTA because I had to change the address on something. Now the RTA can get a bad rap with its waiting, waiting, waiting and the people behind the counter are notoriously gloomy because they have to deal with us bastards all day. The concierge greeted me and asked what I needed. I told her and she handed me over the biggest form ever.

“Whats the date?” I asked her. She told me and I answered her with the obligatory “Where is the year going?” Then I started filling in the form. Soon my number was called and I handed over the form. The lovely young lady punched some numbers into her computer and said. “All Done.”

Excuse me?

I dealt with a government agency with absolutely no drama. It was so unremarkable I felt compelled to share it.

Get a dog? Fill out a form.

Want a mammogram? Fill out a form.

Join a loyalty program? Fill out a form

Fart? Fill out a form

You fill out so many forms and then the companies collect data and then sell the data to marketing companies and BAM. Suddenly you are getting junk mail for incontinence pants and denture cleaning equipment. (this happens when you tick the over 40 box)

And now you even have to give your postcode when you buy something at an Ikea. WHY? And why do the people at the Nespresso store judge you when you say you do not want to join their club?

Lets have a look at the life-cycle of a note here at WoogsWorld.

Child presents a note at a very unhelpful time, you may be taking a dump or cleaning up cat yack. You ask them to put in on the fridge, aka the paperwork breeding ground. From there it remains, ignored until it slips beneath the fridge or gets used by Mr. Woog as something to pick food out of his teeth.  And that is it.

I am very much looking forward to them turning eighteen so they can fill out their own bleeding forms. And filling out forms online can be a complete nightmare, so much so that last year I registered for the Under Twelves Rugby Team. Me. I did not qualify at all but the system was so difficult to decipher that there I was. And I am not even going to start to discuss the intricacies of registering for eisteddfods online as I am trying to remain calm. So I ask you this dear reader…

How do you manage paperwork?

And tell me honestly, what was the last form you filled in. I really want to know.