Have fingers. Will pick.

My name is Mrs Woog and I am an unconscious picker. Oh, and I am also a conscious one as well! Multi-talented in the art of picking, that’s me!

I come from a family of pickers. Unable to leave things be. One of my sisters once had an ingrown hair on her forearm and picked and picked and picked at it. She actually called it “Picky” and she made such a mess of picky that now she has a sizeable scar to forever remind her of that glorious time in her life.

On the weekend I spend some glorious time picking off my black shellac nail polish. I know it is a deadly sin to pick off shellac nail polish because it truly fucks up your nails, taking a couple of layers of actual nail off along with the polish. This, in turn, allows me extra things to pick at, that being nail flakes. I do this unconsciously. Also without thinking I am slowly ruining one of my favourite pants. See attached.

I cannot seem to stop it. It is a curse. Pick pick pick pick pick. “Stop picking at your pants!” the old ball and chain will say to me BUT I CANNOT HELP IT!

Oh and then there is the face. I wake up every morning and immediately consult the magnifying mirror to see what might have popped up overnight. A stray, white, wispy fine single hair might be growing smack bang in the middle of my forehead. PLUCK. A barely there blackhead that is just minding its own business? Pick pick pick pick pick until I am left with a filthy mess. My body is a wonderland for a picking addict like me. I don’t need to go to the movies to entertain myself. I just need some clean (flaky weak) fingernails and my super strength multi-focals and I can keep myself amused for days.

  • Ingrown hairs
  • Ingrown nails
  • Milia
  • Blackheads
  • While heads
  • Hair where there should be no hair
  • Nostril hair!
  • All sorts of fun with my ears
  • Ticks off my fluffy children. This is practically surgery,

The interesting thing here to note, is although I am a supreme grand poobah of the art of picking, I cannot abide picking anything off anyone else. My oldest son recently got his first zit and he was horrified.

“Squeeze it!” He cried and I bolted outside wailing “NOOOOOOOOO!”

And do not even start me on Dr. Pimple Popper you tube videos that pop up on my feed. They are chasing me around the internet and I will not abide by such filth.

I do not believe that I am suffering from the OCD disorder known as “dermatillomania” but now that I know that this is an actual thing, I will continue to pick but more mindfully.

Do you pick?

What do you like picking?