Won’t somebody please think of the children?

There is nothing like having a blog and a social media platform that allows people to tell you off! Write about tax on tampons and you are “ruining the environment!” because I am not plugging up with something called a moon cup. Write a blog post titled Why I have decided to get botox and watch the hounds be released! I am a disgrace to women the world over. Mention that I have run out of coffee pods QUICK MRS WOOG! DUCK!

Write about linen cupboards only to be told I have “jumped the shark”.

It is only a small part of my day, reading these lectures that are sent to me, but it is all a part of the scene.

The funny thing about it all is that deep down, no one knows my faults more than me. I am notoriously disorganised yet am a sticker for punctuality. I do not like avocado or mayo and avocado and mayo is pretty much on everything these days. Sometimes I do not wash my hair for an entire week! Most days, especially in this cold weather, I don’t feel like stripping off and having a shower but the moment I am in there, I think “Man, I should move my bed into here!” because it is just so good.

This morning one of my kids suffered from FAILURE TO LAUNCH and is still asleep in his bed. TRAUNT!

I have 100% given up on trying to manage the socks in this house and so now all the odd socks go into a big drawer in the sideboard and the men folk can help themselves to try to find a matching pair.

I have undies in my drawer that should never encase my backside because they are so old and ratty and I most certainly would not want to be hit by a car whilst wearing them.

I am notoriously bad at running the technical side of this blog. I can put the words on the page and that is where my skills finish.

As well as being environmentally unfriendly, anti-feminist and a bad spellar, I also give my kids white bread. Just sit on that for a while.

I like diet coke and sometimes for lunch I melt that plastic Kraft slices onto toast. I can eat a WHOLE tub on Maggie Beers in one sitting.

But for every lecture that is delivered into my inbox from a stranger outlining my shortfalls, I get many more messages like these….

Which gives me the most satisfying feeling that my words may have helped someone. Or I made someone laugh. Or think.

Look I am no saint. In fact I have deep flaws and sometimes it is hard to even get out of bed and open up Big Bertha to find unpleasant emails and messages, but that is now unfortunately the lay of the land these days. Like you, I am doing the best that I can. Like you, I have my ups and downs and like you (hopefully) I try to focus on the positives in this funny old life.

Go forward, flaws and all and hopefully no one will feel the need to point them out to you.

Fuck that! Share your flaws. Do you use too many zip lock bags too?