Why I have decided to get botox

I am fully aware of my love of rugby union. I love watching the game and over the years, I have even started to understand the rules.

Horatio made his A-Grade debut this weekend. It was the perfect winter day, with full blue sky and a lovely sun that ensured that I had my daily dosage of vitamin D. Horatio was very nervous and was given quite the pep talk before the match. We were playing Penrith and it had alway been decided that they will win, so this game was called a “friendly” one.

Our team took one look at the Penrith side and all shat themselves a bit. These were not under 13 boys. They were fully formed adult sized weapons. I insisted that Horatio HAD to wear headgear. I also told him if any of them went to tackle him he was to squeal in a very high pitch and flap his hands with fury. And that if he had the ball and any of the Penrith Front Row wanted it, just to hand it over.

I dragged my folding chair and plonked myself on the sidelines next the the visiting sides support crew. The thing about this team is that they are all Islanders, being mainly from Samoa. They bring the whole family so you have grandmas and sisters and cousins and uncles and aunties. And they have the best time! Little kids break away and run onto the field while Isobel is taken for a dozen walks by three year olds. They are fantastic sideline commentators and I always really enjoy the friendly banter.

Because it was obvious from the first second that it was going to be a complete white-wash, they offered us a few of their players to even up the game a bit. They lent us the secret weapon, their Hooker who I swear was the most incredible player. Turns out he had already under contract to play for the Bulldogs once he turns 18.

I watched as one of Penrith’s’ wingers took flight with the ball and soon up the sideline like a Ferrari.

“That kid is amazing!” I commented to the lady sitting next to me. She told me that that was her grandson. Zoom, zoom, zoom, every time he got the ball he scored.

My neighbour then asked me a question.

“Which boy is your grandson?”

Which is why I am getting botox and reverse my plan of going grey gracefully.

The End

PS Am not really getting botox because of my aichmophobia,

PPS aichmophobia is a fear of needles