Talk to the animals

One of my special skills sets, much to the abhorrence of my children, is that I like to talk to the animals. And not just my own animals. Any animal whose path I cross.

Sometimes, at home, I will be having a good old chat to Chuy about the events of the day, when Horatio would have to explain to his mates that I am not addressing him, but asking Chuy whether he would like his dinner, or a coffee. Chuy is always up for a yarn.

Isobel doesn’t really talk back, but the bitch is a great listener.

After they have their dinner at five PM, Chuy takes himself out to the front fence to greet his daily visitors. They are an elderly couple who talk and pat Chuy, while he engages them in some wonderful banter. Sometimes, my chats with Chuy provide me with the most satisfying social exchanges for the whole day. This is because he doesn’t answer questions with grunts, but speaks his native language of Feline, which of course I cannot understand but I pretend to him that I do.

In my dreams, I would live on a small farm and be a little like Noah with a collection of animals. Ideally, I would love to have chickens, because I think they are magnificent and are also very chatty. One of my favourite pets I ever had was a chook called Chooken. You can read more about her here. 

I would also love a greyhound and a miniature goat like the ones you see jumping around on you tube.

And while Isobel might not be great in the conversation stakes, my exchanges with her are getting more and more ridiculous. I have started to use this stupid, high-pitched baby voice which is annoying to everyone here.

“Whose my baby! Who is mummy’s good girl……” and on and until someone in my family suggests that I give it a break.

“Whose my chicken licken…..”

But I KNOW 100% in my heart that I am not the only person out there who talks to animals. And do not EVEN start me on my behaviour when I encounter babies when lined up in the supermarket queue. It is something you have in your genes, this necessary need to exchange banter with animals and babies.

Do you possess the gene?

What do you say to your animals?



  • Heidi D

    we don’t have any pets at the moment. I really want to but we live in a shoebox with crappy fencing. When I have had pets, many years ago, I always talked to them. I will also smile & chat to random babies. When I had babies 2 of my 3 long term foster babies ended up needing speech therapy when they were a bit bigger, probably because I talked to them so much they couldn’t get a word in 😂

  • Jan Davis

    Often the only intelligent conversation I have in a day. Once had neighbours who were convinced I had a partner with a speech difficulty in a wheelchair –
    because they could often hear me talking but never saw to whom!

  • Net

    oh god yes, I talk to the dog constantly. As does my husband….. the dog has a backstory now, a part time job at Taco Bills, and a tequila problem. We live in an elaborate fantasy world around here and wouldn’t have it any other way! (The dog gets upset when the kids tell him that he’s a dog)

  • Angela

    Oh yes I chatted all day to my dear boy, especially about his 2 teenage sisters and the state of their rooms, behaviour etc. He always agreed with me. He also got offended when told he was just a dog by other family members. He passed 2 months ago and I said to my husband I miss chatting( whingeing) to him . He said ( thinking she’s gone mad) well ” chat” to the cat. Nope it’s not the same. She’s not really interested! She’s 18 and can’t be bothered with talk!!

  • My five year old son had his first ‘real’ conversation with my mum’s dog the other day. They both made funny noises at each other for quite some time. Afterwards, he said “I have no idea what the heck we were talking about!”
    My mum is pretty chatty with her pets. My son is intrigued by this and asked me today, “How does Nanna always know what dogs and cats are saying?”
    I wanted to make a joke about her being crazy but decided to tell him she has special powers. This could get funnier.

  • Of course – how could I not talk to these two? And with Siamese, you can be pretty much guaranteed they’ll answer too. The little one – on the left, Rumi – talks ALL the time. Right now, she’s gone to bed, thankfully, because she was bored, and whining, and driving me nuts…but didn’t want to play fetch, or chase the fish on the stick, or any of the other things she usually wants…just not in a good mood at all. Callie is currently wandering around – was keeping an eye on what’s going on in the street, perched on the desk next to me looking out the front window…is now also considering a nap. We have long, earnest conversations, frequently!

  • Liz

    Ah yes. Not only do I talk to him (Spider the cat) but I answer for him in a ridiculous voice also. The husband tries to do it but I tell him he’s not even close and don’t pretend the cat is answering back ffs…. LOL

  • FunMumX3

    You must read Fifteen Dogs by Canadian writer André Alexis. … the winner of the 2015 Canadian Scotiabank Giller Prize and the 2015 Rogers Writers’ Trust Fiction Prize, as well as the 2017 edition of Canada Reads
    Yes, I just copied that from Wiki 🙂
    You will not be able to talk to your animals in the same way after reading this wonderful book! It’s in the genre of Life of Pi. Amazing book!!!