Do you stockpile anything?

It took me four attempts at it, but I am firmly entrenched in the phenomena that is The Handmaid’s Tale. I made the mistake of bingeing on four episodes in a row and it spun me out. Now, I am a little more reserved. I like to finish dinner, take a hot shower and get into my jammies. Then I gather the family together and tell them that Mummy is going to be out of action for the next hour and to please not disturb me. Only if there is blood. And not just a scratch or a little cut. I am talking about a slashed artery.

And then I get into bed with my phone and spend the next hour thinking NO FUCKING WAY!

The thing about this particular series is that it gives my already over-active brain additional fodder. It makes me question pretty much everything now.

Like, every morning Facebook will tell me the weather for my suburb and wishes me a good day. BIG BROTHER IS WATCHING ME.

A few weeks ago I came across a sheet set that I liked online and as I tend to do, I hit ADD TO CART, and then abandon the cart as I have enough sheets. And every day since, I am served up that add for those sheets, reminding me of the time that I thought I needed those particular linens. I have stopped joining any loyalty programs as I was getting so much spam emails and YOU ALL KNOW TOO MUCH ABOUT ME ALREADY.

Do you remember that scene in Father of the Bride?

I totally agree with George! It is all a conspiracy. And I have two case studies to prove it.

I avoid going to the supermarket as much as I avoid reading anything Miranda Divine has written, therefore I get a weekly grocery delivery from Woolies. I have master list saved, do a quick reccie of the pantry, fridge and bathroom before punching in what we require.

SALT AND PEPPER

Every time I realise that we have run out of salt, I order salt and pepper. Eventually we are left with this.

CONCLUSION – Woogs use more salt than pepper.

TAKEAWAY – I do not need to buy pepper for the next decade

SHAMPOO AND CONDITIONER

Every time I realise that we have run out of shampoo, I order shampoo and conditioner. Eventually we are left with this.

CONCLUSION – Woogs uses more shampoo than conditioner.

TAKEAWAY – My family has very clean hair that is quite dry due to lack of condition.

I, myself, am conditioned to buy things in pairs, even if I do not need them. I have 3 bags of hotdogs rolls in the freezer, with only two hotdog rolls in each. Instead of using THOSE when we have hot dogs, I will buy a fresh 6 packet of hot dogs so I can freeze the spares…….

It is practices like these that means my cupboards are overloaded with the same thing. Every single fucking time I do the shopping, I buy a tin of tomatoes because if you have a tin of tomatoes in the cupboard, you will always have dinner sorted. But do I really need thirteen tins?

CONCLUSION – I must really think about what I need before I ADD TO CART.

TAKEAWAY – Google recipes that require are least TWO tins of tomatoes.

But for some strange reason, I am always having to dash up to the servo to buy over-priced toilet paper because we are always running out of the stuff. It is a conspiracy I tell you!

Do you stockpile anything?

HOMEWORK – How many tins of tomatoes do you currently own?

Handmaid’s Tale. Are you into it?

  • My pantry is quite empty – I go in person fortnightly and we’re OUT OF TINNED TOMATO! The situation is quite dire. Not sure how I’ll get through the day.

  • Heidi D

    we go every few months to Costco & buy 60 toilet rolls, 12 tins of tomatoes, lots of bulk stuff. Inbetween we go to local shops to top up milk, fruit & veg. We are hoping to go to Costco this week so I only have 2 tins of tomatoes & we had to get extra loo roll.Handmaid’s Tale is on my list of things to watch but I haven’t started yet.

  • Tracey Bradshaw

    I stopped buying shampoo and conditioner in pairs a while ago. I used to be so narky about having matching shampoo and conditioner, that if I changed brands I couldn’t use the leftover conditioner from the old brand. When we moved I found 9 partial bottles of conditioner of varying brands in the bathroom cupboard. I ended up combining them which gave me three full bottles of conditioner that I put in the kids bathroom and waited until they were used up before we bought more.
    I stockpile when things are on sale. Small tins of tuna in olive oil or spring water (currently have 18), jars of tomato passata (7), tinned toms (7), chickpeas (5), soy milk (9), almond milk (10), coconut milk cans (6), chicken breasts ( somewhere around 8kg)… some of it is habit, but I like to keep the pantry and freezer stocked so it’s easy to cook meals or do a day of batch cooking if I get in the mood.
    I also have 2 teenage boys who are always hungry and always have friends in tow.

  • Leoni

    I panic when the tinned tomato situation is set to low, also tomato paste. I also tend to stockpile frozen peas because, well, who knows, but I would hate to run out………….

  • Josephine

    We’ve been trying to curb our mindless shopping habits in recent weeks, but I can totally relate to the stockpiling of canned goods! Packets of pasta was another thing that would get thrown into the cart whether it was required or not! I currently have a lonely can of tinned tomatoes on the shelf – very unusual. It’s fate is likely to be a bolognese later in the week…
    For the last year we’ve been ordering our loo paper from Who Gives A Crap – you get a massive box delivered within a couple of days and it lasts our family of 4 about 3 or so months. You can elect to have it delivered to a schedule so that you don’t run out – just a thought?
    I have just finished reading The Handmaids Tale and watched the first 3 episodes yesterday – so well made and thoroughly chilling, compelling and hard to watch at the same time.
    I have also noticed an increase in stalkerish ads on my computer in the last couple of years, it does make me feel a little queasy…

  • Like so many other people, I like to take advantage of sales of non perishable goods. Tuna half price? Buy 20 tins. By the time we use those they’ll be on sale again. We have a lot of toilet paper because you get 1.5 hours free parking at our local shopping centre if you spend $20 at Coles. When hubby goes into town for a haircut or whatever, he comes home with a big pack of toilet paper and some icecream. Every Time. But what our cupboards are mostly filled with are Japanese ingredients you can only buy in Japan. So when hubby is on his annual work trip there he brings home literally 2 suitcases full of various kinds of dried seaweed, pickled plums, and green tea Kit Kats. A few weeks before his next trip he starts rationing the kids and warning them, “there’s only one packet of garlic furikake and half a bottle of gyoza sauce left and still three weeks until I go to Japan!”

  • sue

    sign up for ‘who give a crap’ toilet paper subscription & you’ll never have to remember to buy it again!

    • Lynn Ann

      this was my suggestions…best. thing. ever. !!!!

  • Tracey

    I have two tins of tomatoes, adm I winning at this not stockpiling thing? Blocks of baking chocolate, on the other hand… And we won’t discuss the number of cans of coconut milk in the pantry.

    I have not watched the Handmaid’s Tale, but I’m getitng the feeling I should. Perhaps I will read the book first.

  • I have three tins of tomatoes, two each of kidney beans and chick peas and MANY single serve tuna and chilli…Yes, I had to go and look! I automatically pick up tins of tomatoes when I’m in the supermarket, and equally automatically pick up anything that we use regularly if it’s on special whether we need it that week or not – cos inevitably we’ll end up on a tight week and NOTHING will be on special, and I hate that. We did end up with eight litre bottles of extra virgin olive at one point…so I’ve not bought that for some time now. And toilet paper – NEVER leave the supermarket without buying toilet paper. A few times when Dragon Dad came with me, he made comments about it – ‘You’re a hoarder…you know we HAVE toilet paper already?’ My response, ‘Do you know how much toilet paper you use???’ – cos it’s him that goes through it…. SO, I didn’t buy it that week. He came with me the following week, so I didn’t buy it then either. We ran out two days later. YES, I did it on purpose. NO, he doesn’t hassle me any more.
    I binged The Handmaid’s Tale. Thought it was the most amazing piece of TV I’d seen in a very long time. Need to watch it again while it’s still there. Need a copy of the book to re-read too – every time I go into a bookstore, they’ve just run out of stock again!

  • Jane

    My husband went through the pantry and told me to buy no more tinned tomatoes as we had enough to last us until the end of the world. I notice he didn’t throw out the tin of bamboo shoots that was use by 1900 and has moved with us three times.

  • Highcar

    I stockpile toilet paper so if you ever need any….

  • Me

    We should pair up Mrs Woog as I too feel compelled to buy both salt and pepper and shampoo and conditioner as pairs. We, however, use a lot more pepper than salt and conditioner than shampoo! It’s taken time, but I’ve trained myself to buy 3 conditioners and 2 shampoos! Still struggling with the extra salt though, I haven’t worked out our ratios yet!

  • I love Handmaid’s Tale I accidentally stockpile coffee and sugar. I think it’s out of fear I could maybe run out. That would truly be an apocalypse.

  • Emma

    I always buy my usuals in a shop but seem to have my eye in as I can’t find any stockpiling in the pantry. My frustration when my husband likes to come along for the shop is that he only wants to buy things when they have RUN OUT. You can tell he is not the cook, washer etc for the house nor appreciates that I have to factor in dashes to the shop around kid and work commitments, dinner cooking etc, so prefer not to have another thing to be put under the pump about. He is however very handy with the vacuum cleaner so it’s not all bad. But I do have a stockpiling issue when it come to skincare. I blame Priceline 40-50% sales …

  • little red hen

    I watched the Handmaid’s Tale when it ran in Canada earlier in the spring. I had read Atwood’s book years ago as well. It’s scary shit. And what makes it scarier is that the outside scenes, where they’re walking beside the river and getting shot at on the bridge were shot in the city where I live.

  • Food, around my waist!

  • My husband stockpiles the Maple Syrup from Aldi. He is obsessed that it is real and canadian and thinks it is too good to be true. So we have 5 bottles. And I do not know what for.