Grounds for divorce

Sponsored by PMT and a hint of resentment 

Ask any of my family what my most annoying habit is, and they will all tell you the same thing.

 “She is crap at answering her phone”

I know this; because when I see each and every one of them, that is the first sentence that they greet me with. I hate answering the phone, mainly because no one ever calls for a chinwag these days. Everybody wants something.

The worst calls are those that come from my kid’s school. They are never going to call me to tell me how brilliant my sons are, or retell a cute story. No. It will be because one of them have knocked themselves out on the monkey bars, or has gotten into a scuffle with Ewan. Again.

But enough about me. Let’s talk about divorce. (What a natural segue that was….)

Or to be precise, that one spine tingling, white-hot rage inducing, constant and predicable as the sun type habit that your partner continues to do, that you are fairly sure will be the reason you will end up in divorce court.

For me, it is this.

 

UNTILL DEATH WE DO PART, does this annoy me! Every morning, as I scramble to the coffee machine, I am greeted with a plate and a knife sitting on top of the dishwasher. EVERY. SINGLE. DAY.

And this in turn, makes me have substantial ill feelings towards my cherished beloved. Feelings that can last for several hours and which are made worse if he calls me to ask me some stupid question about something ridiculous.

 

Trust your husband. Adore your husband and get as much as you can in your own name. – Joan Rivers

 The top ten reasons that people get divorced are as follows:

  1. High Expectations
  2. Adultery
  3. Compatibility
  4. Low Tolerance and Rigidity
  5. Harassment (I think this means nagging)
  6. Lack of Commitment
  7. Lack of physical attraction
  8. Family Pressure
  9. Lack of Communication
  10. Family Background

Nowhere on the list does it say speaking, or leaving a plate of top of the dishwasher.

Nagging is the repetition of unpalatable truths. – Edith Summerskill

 So what’s a gal to do? Do I continue to be irritated by this one little habit and suffer in silence, or do I rein down on him like a rabid lizard queen, teeth bared with angry spite dripping from my tongue, as I fling that plate out of the window before bursting into uncontrollable hysterics while throwing myself onto my bed.

Love, the quest; marriage, the conquest: divorce, the inquest. -Helen Rowland

 The truth is, everybody has annoying habits. Me and the phone… the plate on the sink… the toilet roll fiasco that plagues women the world over. Taking money from your wallet, or leaving the car with an empty tank of petrol. Habits are extremely hard to break. It is a neurological thing, the absolute need to follow a pattern of behavior, even unconsciously.

But sod that. Just put the plate in the bleeding dishwasher! And let us not even begin to talk about the t-bags…..

Are you getting less tolerant as you get older?

Or is your family becoming more ass-holery?

 

  • whicocan

    I don’t think I am less tolerant I think his bad habit has just worn me down to anger and resentment. I shared this information with my beloved just recently while we were just talking. I find it is best to offer this kind of info when no one is angry or upset. We’ve been married 40+ years and while I love him dearly I do not wish to spend what time I have left being angry and resentful because he can’t get his shit together and remember something that is obviously important to me. If I could just let it go I would have, if I did something that really pushed his buttons I would stop…..IN FACT I did so years ago! No complaints from him for years!

  • I feel your pain, you have seen the Tupperware ‘having it’s final dry out’ aka breeding ground picture. My tolerance is very limited, the more I have to do then less tolerant I am, not just with him, with everyone. Even the dog is learning not to drop toys in my way! My bug bear are the supplementary rubbish bins. Bin night used to be Sunday. Everywhere we have lived, he has gone around the house on a Sunday evening and emptied all the bins. Bathroom, bedrooms, kitchen, office. 3 years ago that all changed because bin night moved to Wednesday. Now it is just the kitchen bin. I don’t see why his routine should be interrupted and the supplementary bins be emptied on a Sunday night, there is no logical reason why they couldn’t be. It’s now a battle of wills as to who empties them. So far, I’m loosing.

  • Donna

    My complaint is the dirty clothes basket. I have been with my husband for 43 years now, married 36. Ever since I have know him he would put his dirty clothes on top of the laundry basket. This went on for years, then one day I got smart, yep. I removed the lid from the dirty clothes basket, seriously I don’t know why I never thought of it before. The bugger now leaves it on the floor beside the basket. I give up. I figure it has taken me 43 years to try to train this one, I wouldn’t have it in me to train another man, haha.

  • littlelostsoul

    Hide all the crockery. It will result in you having to get out of bed early and it will be a hell of a lot more work than just putting that knife and plate in the dishwasher, but it will mean sweet, sweet revenge! Winning!

    • Emma Burgess

      Perhaps buy him some paper plates for his breakfast…then he can hiff it in the bin? LOL

  • Balmainemma

    So, um, high expectations is on that list…

  • I feel your pain Mrs Woog! Mine won’t USE the dishwasher – doesn’t like them but can’t tell me why. So, if I don’t get to and clear the decks quickly enough, he washes up and leaves all the clean dishes stacked on towels over every spare inch of kitchen bench space – and doesn’t put any of them away… NOT complaining cos he does the dishes, BUT…. And the bin in the kitchen. Empties it, NEVER puts a new bag in. Doesn’t like doing that bit. Makes himself a snack – clearly capable of getting out all the plates, cutlery, crockery, eatables OUT of their respective cupboards and drawers, but can’t put anything back, or stack the dirty bits. Oh and if he DOES stack dishes, it’s IN the sink rather than next to…
    I could go on. But I won’t. Because I know that I can’t keep my desk tidy (and it’s in the corner of the living room now, cos the current rental isn’t big enough for me to have a room of my own) drives him BONKERS. Ditto the piles of books I accumulate all over the house. And that the bookcases aren’t perfectly tidy all the time…
    Shalom haBayit – a Jewish principal that translates roughly as ‘the peace of the house’ – there’s enough crap that means real struggles that I try to remember that these things (and those not added to the list here) are SMALL… But then I think of Chinese water torture… I am a flawed soul!! LOL!!

  • FunMumX3

    Is it bad enough to throw some $$ at it? If so, pay whichever of your kids is the most motivated by money to be 100% responsible for dishes – stacking in EVERY dish, emptying every day. I pay my kid $20 weekly for all dishy duties and compost bin empty/wash. Worth every penny, and she doesn’t bug me for fun money. Even buys some of her clothes out of her savings so a total win-win.