Unless you have been living under a rock, you would know by now that Princess Kate is expecting her third child. This, apparently, has lifted the spirits of the British People. Kate was kind of has to come clean on her pregnancy as she is suffering from a condition called Hyperemesis gravidarum which is like morning sickness on crack. I do not know how bad it must be to have it, but I did watch one of my mates suffer so horrifically from it three times.

I recall sitting with her in the sunshine and she would have a sip of water and then put on the most painful performance of vomiting into a special sick bag. She would become dangerously dehydrated as she was unable to keep any food or liquids down, that she ended up in hospital on a drip. This occurred throughout the whole pregnancy. Apparently it only affects 3% of women so you are very unlucky if you get it.

Think of the one person in the world that you despise beyond all others. You would NOT wish Hyperemesis gravidarum upon them. That is how bad it apparently is.

But because this is a personal blog, of course I am going to make it all about moi.

In the Autumn of 2003, Mr Woog and I were preparing to take a three week trip to New York City. The Big Apple! The city that never sleeps. About a fortnight before we were due to fly out I realised something was missing. My Period. Pissed on a stick and hello sailor! Not really in the plan, but we had no plans anyway and so it was to be. So off we went, kissing Horatio goodbye as we left him in the hands of his doting grandmothers.

Enter the weeks from hell.

We were staying in a modest Mid-town hotel which apparently had a great steak restaurant and a groovy rooftop bar. And I say apparently because I didn’t get the chance to sample either, as I spent most of my time curled up on the bathroom floor suffering from all day morning sickness unlike I had ever experienced before. Each morning, Mr. Woog would open the curtains so I could see the Chrysler Building for a nano-second before I would commence with my hurling. He would be sympathetic, but I was super fucking cranky at him because he was able bodied.

“GET OUT!” and so he did. I mean, it was either do that or sit and watch me vomit in between watching infomercials featuring Rachel Welsh shrilling the benefits of fibre tablets. At the end of the day he would come back and tell me everything that he did. He doesn’t really need company when he travels, but he is a super dooper culture vulture and left no stone un-turned in the city.

And as a treat, he surprised me with a new toilet to vomit into for the last three nights on the trip. A room at the famous Waldorf Astoria Hotel. It was a five star porcelain experience.

I did manage to wander out on the odd occasion when I felt it was safe to do so, but I always felt like I had had a bottle of straight tequila the night before. I was queasy. There is a photo that Mr. Woog took of me in front of a beautiful Monet landscape. I have turned the house upside down trying to find it for you. But anyway, I am standing there, pale as a ghost, looking like I was about to pass out with my arms crossed in front of me. Oh and in the other notable adventure, I went with him to the famous Algonquin Hotel and had a mineral water with ice. Before I had to leave. To make love to the toilet. Again.

It took a few weeks for this condition to pass. I had lost a lot of weight but I developed a daily Magnum addiction which set that right (and then some!). I still would gag at the smell of steak cooking and if Mr. Woog had had a few beers, he sleep on the couch as my sense of smell had become super-human and the smell of booze would make me wretch. But, as they say, it was all worth it in the end.

What about you? Did the Morning Sickness Fairy Spare you?

  • Whitney Beckett Sigler

    I was lucky with our first child, I only was sick around smells. Coffee, eggs, meat frying. Then with the second heartburn from day one. The third nothing. Other issues with all three. Our poor daughter, her pregnancy was like “Princess Kate’s” she was on medical leave by 2nd mo. on her drive to work she would have a bucket between her legs. It was so bad she tried every thing the first month and doctors prescribed medication and off work. In the ER and weight loss. I wouldn’t wish it on anyone. ❤️

    • Oh the heartburn! And the constipation!

  • Life At 101

    The thought of morning sickness makes me feel sick lol!! I am eternally gratefully that I was spared morning sickness….I think if I’d had to endure it I’d have one daughter instead of 5!

    • You went 5 times! I cannot imagine the washing xx

      • Life At 101

        Let’s just say it’s never-ending!!

  • Heidi D

    My mum suffered from this when she was pregnant with me. Everything made her vomit constantly. My German grandma insisted camomile tea would help ….. it didn’t & she still can’t stand it to this day, interestingly neither can I. In the end she was in hospital with her kidneys failing. She says as soon as I was out she felt better.
    I have never been pregnant but have come close to this feeling. My hormones went wild a few years ago & for the entire week of my period from the minute it started until about an hour after it stopped I sat on a bed heaving or actually vomiting interrupted only to go to the hospital for iv rehydration. My mum even asked if I was pregnant as it was so much like her symptoms. After it happening 2 months in a row & no Dr believing it could be my period I rang a gynaecologist & begged his secretary to get me in before my next period. Dr gave me mini pill, hormones settled, no more problems.
    I take my hat off to anyone that goes through it for some or all of their pregnancy, one week was more than enough

    • I am glad you got that sorted. Sounds terrible xx

  • Lisa Newey

    First child – just the thought of eating would make me sick, which of course, made it worse, but if I could manage something, I felt much better. Gagging whilst cleaning my teeth – it’s really no fun vomiting into the bathroom basin! Walked around Star City Casino for hours trying to decide what to have for dinner before a theatre show, ended up managing to eat a waffle cone (no ice cream) as we had run out of time! Fortunately it went away about week 16. Second child – the same but continued through until late stages of pregnancy. High blood pressure and pre-eclampsia both times wasn’t great either (former kidney disease was responsible for that). Third pregnancy (sadly, a missed miscarriage at 18 weeks) – ended up with labyrinthitis and vertigo, which makes you vomit when you are upright! It is an awful, awful feeling – so sorry you had such a cruddy experience in New York! A friend is currently taking a chemotherapy-type drug to get rheumatoid arthritis under control, and from what she tells me, it is just like morning-noon-and-night sickness too 🙁

    • I was so sick that the toothpaste even made me sicker! I am so sorry to hear about your miscarriage Lisa xx

  • Morning sickness wasn’t a fairy for me. It was a horrible all consuming beast that lasted both of my pregnancies in their entirety. With my first I was being wheeled away for an emergency caesar and I yelled- “wait…I’ve got to spew again!”. My babies were born at 36 weeks and 37 weeks respectively and i took the drugs they give to cancer patients to stop the nausea from chemo. On them I would be sick about 10-12 times a day. Rather than the 10-12 times an hour without them.

    The worst part was chucking up nothing…so I got into the routine of waking up, drinking a bottle of water then throwing it up before taking my precious tablets….

    • Oh Kylie! All of these comments makes me realise that I was quite fine. Throwing up bile is never nice though xx

  • I had it bad with all 3 of mine. I’m a cooking teacher and can still remember having to run out of year 8 class cooking tacos on period 1 one Tuesday to vomit.

  • No! I was sick! At least for the first four months of each 5 pregnancies. But I suspect it’s your body’s way of telling you not to imbibe in stuff you shouldn’t. Nature is good like that. That first cup of coffee after giving birth tasted so good!

  • Francine

    I was so lucky with my one pregnancy. Only times my tummy got upset was when I had indian. She is 8 now (today actually 🙂 ) and I am only just starting to be able to eat indian again. In actual fact, my pregnancy was so easy, that I didn’t know I was pregnant until 18 weeks 🙂 Hahaha.

  • katerina

    2 kiddo’s …about 2 weeks queasy with 1st…..didn’t even notice with 2nd. Easy births as well. No dramas.