Are you firing on all cylinders?

Every morning I get up, I read the obituary page. If my name is not on it, I shave. – George Burns

The other day I was on the phone to my Mum when we started talking about certain dates. Naturally I started looking for my phone to check the dates and it took me some time to realise that it was in my hand, being used as an actual telephonical device. And I know for a FACT that I am not the only person who searches for their sunglasses, while they are actually on ones head.

Ever walked into a room only to stand there, like a slack jawed yokel, wondering what the fuck you went in there for? Can you remember the colour of your kindergarten teachers eyes, but cannot recall what you had for dinner last night?


Recently I was in a shopping centre waiting in the line to use the ATM machine. The gentleman in front of me withdrew his cash and walked off, leaving his card in the machine. I grabbed it and ran after him to give it back. He was a bit embarrassed, but I told him that it was ok, because I did shit like that all the time.

It also reminded for of the two times that Mr. Woog made a “social lucky dip” donation. This is where he went to withdraw money, took his card and left he cash there, hanging there, for the next lucky person to discover. Twice. TWICE!

I often quite like to, say, go to the butchers and order a kilo of mince. I make the fiscal transaction before returning to my car. As dinner time approaches, I search for said mince only to realise that I had left it back at the shop. Turns out, your 40’s is when you start to get a little bit of “brain fog” and it is totally normal. Ideally, you will spend some time in a headstand which increased blood to your brain, but in my case it would also probably result in me ending up in the emergency ward.

Being positive is also helpful for retaining data. Smile I say! It is also suggested to munch on superfoods. I say a zinger burger from The Dirty Bird is pretty super, but it is suggested to ditch it in favour of things like fish, nuts and seeds and other shit that you find in the health food isle. Oh, and eat beetroot and avocados! Also, while you eat the avocado, do deep breathing and relaxing stiff, like patting your dog or going for a swim.

So basically, reverse everything that you are probably doing so in twenty years time, you will remember your own name.

When is the last time you misplaced something?

Are you confident that you are firing on all cylinders?