You are an idiot. A lesson in telling your inner critic to fuck right off.

I am not sure where this blog post will end up, but let’s just suck it and see?

“I am my own worst enemy.” I told a mate recently to which she responded with “You said it sister!” and then we clinked our cans of Diet Coke together. Then she admitted that she felt that her own confidence was on the decline, and I know that there are a lot of you, reading this right now, who will know exactly what I am talking about.

And since then, I have spent a lot of time trying to work out why I continue to self sabotage, and concentrate on the negative crap, and worry about things that I have no control over. My negative inner critic has stopped me from doing so many things, particularly in the media, because I still believe that deep down, I am a fraud and will be called out for it at any given moment.

So fucking stupid. I know. I chose to ignore the fact that I bring joy to many people, that I provide a space for thousands of women to come together and know that they are not alone. I have two happy, healthy boys and a man who loves me. So on the outside, it is painted quite the picture.

Scratch that paint, and the canvas is black.

And I am so over it. My inner voice has been lying to me for years and I am here to tell it to back the fuck off. Self talk is often directed at negativity and the best thing you can do is to challenge it. Look for the evidence. Challenge it. Are you jumping to inaccurate conclusions?

I am sometimes asked to come on radio as a “social commentator” and my first response is NO WAY. What if I say something dumb? What if I don’t know the answer to the question. But because I am in the business these days of pushing myself out of my comfort zone, I say yes. Then I worry like an idiot and almost always want to cancel. But I have discovered a super power.

A minute before I go live, I grab a bit of paper and write down the opposite of everything that is going on in my head.

YOU HAVE GOT THIS

YOU KNOW WHAT YOU ARE TALKING ABOUT

YOU ARE AS FUNNY AS FUCK

YOU DESERVE TO BE HERE

WHAT THE FUCK WERE YOU THINKING WHEN YOU GOT DRESSED?

THEY ASKED YOU TO COME ON BECAUSE THEY KNOW YOU HAVE SOMETHING TO SAY.

And by the time I am introduced, I take a big deep breathe and GO.

Isn’t it extraordinary the things you can say to yourself that you would never say to anyone else? Now let’s all hold hands together, sing kumbaya and make the following promise.

BE GENTLE AND ENCOURAGING WITH MYSELF.

If your negative inner Nancy comes into your brain, challenge her, realise she is a fucking bitch face liar and tell her about all the good things about yourself, before politely asking her to leave.

Are you guilty of being your own worst critic?

You know that it’s bullshit, right? You are actually pretty awesome….