The Modern Mother Manifesto

Please indulge  me while I have a Jerry McGuire moment and blurt out some words. This is a manifesto for mothers of teenagers and tweens.


I love…

You both. You are both amazing in many ways.

Being your mum.

Seeing you set goals and achieve them.

That you are growing up into fully paid up decent members of the human race.

I believe…

I do too much for you.

That I am now going to close the door on both your bedrooms and let the wet towels fester away on the floor.

I do not have to be witness to your constant fights. Please excuse me while I leave the room.

That my nagging will stop as of today. Don’t brush your teeth. Don’t take a shower. Stink up the joint if you want.

Despite loving you all the time, it is ok not to like you very much at times.

That if you want to beat the shit out of each other in the kitchen when you clean up the dinner that I cooked for you, go for it.

That every time you roll your eyes, my wine glass will get filled.

That if you leave your lunch on the kitchen bench, you will get hungry at school.

If you do not hand in your assignment you will be penalised. Not my problem.

If you disrespect me there will be swift and life altering consequences. AKA no WIFI or screens.

That “Go ask your father” is a valid segue into a discussion I do not wish to have with you at this present time.

That “He looked at me funny sir” is not an excuse that will hold up in court.


I am committed to…

Helping you heal your broken heart when it first gets smashed.

Helping you help yourself.

Seeing this mothering gig through to the end.

Trying to NOT be committed to the loony bin over the next few years.


Please feel free to add your own!

I love…

I believe…

I am committed to…


  • Renae

    I am committed to:
    Helping you help yourself. This is such a big one for me. When the kids (4 under 7) are having a meltdown/moment/whatever, I try to ask them “how can I help you get through this.” My parents are amazing but I feel that I’d like to be a bit more hands-on about teaching my kids life skills. Great post.

  • Heidi D

    “I believe that despite loving you all the time, it is ok not to like you very much at times”. Thankyou for saying this. It is so good to know that I am not the only one that has those moments, they make me feel so guilty. I am dealing with a hormonal 14 year old girl that has some other stuff going on as well that at times make her a fairly unpleasant person to be around. I love her to bits but there are days when I don’t like the type of person she is being.

  • No way in the world Woogster!

    That’s easy to say, but you know the second one of them has a bit of a tremble of his lip, a sniffle, doesn’t eat his dinner, or is just a little… off his game, you’ll be over like a shot, hugging, kissing (if they let you), picking up towels and asking if they want marshmallows in their hot chocolates.

    A mum trying to let their boys, become men, is amazingly difficult and quite often, doomed to fail.

  • Maggie

    My advice is to go and give them both a huge hug right now. Even if they stink. I lost my 26 year old son to suicide in June this year and I regret that I didn’t hug him more. I would pick up his wet towels off the floor everyday for the rest of my life if only I could have him back for just one more hug. Hugging a corpse is not the same.

    • Donna

      You sweet sad mum. I send love to you and your boy. Love doesn’t lessen. In some ways you are stronger because you have to work harder at that love now he’s gone. Bloody suicide.

    • FunMumX3

      Oh Maggie * heart breaks * no words

      Words I can say are… all of us can keep talking about mental health and suicide. It educates us as parents and it let the kids who struggle know that there is help out there. I am working hard to talk about mental health with my kids and that it is just as valid and real as physical health and needs the same care and attention.

    • Harriet Pope

      Thank you Maggie. Such grounding words. My heart is breaking for you and your son.

    • Darling Maggie I am so heartbroken for you. And I am so sorry if my words were in anyway insensitive. Sending love xxx

  • Jen

    I love you more than you’ll ever know.
    I believe I’m doing ok at being your parent but I’m going to lose my shit at you every so often, second guess myself, behave like a two year old at times but slap myself out of it and get on with the job.
    I’m committed to making you sale-able, so that you will indeed leave home one day and be an amazing partner for someone out there!

  • Emily Furlong

    I love you more than I’ve loved anything ever.
    I believe that being honest with you in age appropriate ways is one of the best gifts I can give you.
    I commit to being here. I will always be here.

  • I love your spark, your energy and your brilliant minds.
    I believe that you both have amazing lives ahead of you and much to share with the world.
    I am committed to making myself redundant, allowing you both to live and learn and go into the world with confidence.