The Gushing Idiot

If you have not heard of Celeste Barber, you must not have the internet. And if you do not have the internet, I very much doubt you would be reading this. Celeste Barber is THE QUEEN of Instagram, that photo sharing app that can be equally frustrating and wonderful. In a world of “curated feeds” Celeste brings a big breath of fresh air in what can be a world of fakery. You can follow her here.

I was with some mates last night at the premiere of Bad Moms 2 (FIVE STAR HILARITY BY THE WAY) when I spotted her at the pre-match hype drinkie poos. I was like “Holy fuck! There’s Celeste Barber!” and I kind of lost my shit a bit. Should I go over and fan-girl her?

My experience with fan-girling has had a mixed bag of responses. Like the time that I saw Mick Malloy at Melbourne Airport. It went a little bit like this….

“Mick Malloy! Oh my god! I am such a big fan of yours.”

I am of the D-Generation generation, after all. He must have been in a rush or something as he grunted something at me. I didn’t care because I adore comedians. And then I said the stupid line….

“Can I get a selfie?”

What a fucking idiot.

“Sure love… make it quick…”

And then I got so flustered and my phone sensed that I was so, and refused to co-operate as quickly as I would hope it would, so I ended up getting a fabulous shot. Of our feet. And then he was gone.

But this did not deter me last night. I mean, this might be the only chance in the world to say hello to Ms. Barber. I took a big deep breath, remembered that it must happen to her all the time, took a sip of confidence cordial (wine) and went in.

“Hey Celeste! Where is your hot husband?”

She has a hot husband whom she refers to as Hot Husband.

She told me that he was at home and then I word vomited into her ear about how funny she is and how her FUCK YOU stance over ridiculously posed model shots make my day. Celeste was awesome and asked what I did, so I told her that I wrote a little blog called WoogsWorld….. And she said that she had heard of me! ME! That is akin to Warren Buffet knowing of Mr. Woog, or Jonathan Thurston having heard of Horatio, or Mikhail Baryshnikov giving the nod to Jack.

A bit like ScarFace Claw hanging with Chuy. Not a bit like, actually A LOT LIKE!

So of course I had to ask for a selfie, which so obliged (See faces up there) and because she is about 6 foot, she had to bend down a lot.

It is quite a strange sensation when you run into someone famous, don’t you think? There was this one time that my interaction with someone famous ended in humiliation (click here) and another time when I was lined up at Woolies behind Cate Blanchett while she wrangled her sons who were behaving like little kids tend to do when lining up at the checkout. She rolled her eyes at me when they started bashing into each other and we totally shared a moment of sisterhood, as my kids were doing the exact same thing.

Do you adore Celeste Barber?

Have you ever fan-girled someone? What happened?