The Gushing Idiot

If you have not heard of Celeste Barber, you must not have the internet. And if you do not have the internet, I very much doubt you would be reading this. Celeste Barber is THE QUEEN of Instagram, that photo sharing app that can be equally frustrating and wonderful. In a world of “curated feeds” Celeste brings a big breath of fresh air in what can be a world of fakery. You can follow her here.

I was with some mates last night at the premiere of Bad Moms 2 (FIVE STAR HILARITY BY THE WAY) when I spotted her at the pre-match hype drinkie poos. I was like “Holy fuck! There’s Celeste Barber!” and I kind of lost my shit a bit. Should I go over and fan-girl her?

My experience with fan-girling has had a mixed bag of responses. Like the time that I saw Mick Malloy at Melbourne Airport. It went a little bit like this….

“Mick Malloy! Oh my god! I am such a big fan of yours.”

I am of the D-Generation generation, after all. He must have been in a rush or something as he grunted something at me. I didn’t care because I adore comedians. And then I said the stupid line….

“Can I get a selfie?”

What a fucking idiot.

“Sure love… make it quick…”

And then I got so flustered and my phone sensed that I was so, and refused to co-operate as quickly as I would hope it would, so I ended up getting a fabulous shot. Of our feet. And then he was gone.

But this did not deter me last night. I mean, this might be the only chance in the world to say hello to Ms. Barber. I took a big deep breath, remembered that it must happen to her all the time, took a sip of confidence cordial (wine) and went in.

“Hey Celeste! Where is your hot husband?”

She has a hot husband whom she refers to as Hot Husband.

She told me that he was at home and then I word vomited into her ear about how funny she is and how her FUCK YOU stance over ridiculously posed model shots make my day. Celeste was awesome and asked what I did, so I told her that I wrote a little blog called WoogsWorld….. And she said that she had heard of me! ME! That is akin to Warren Buffet knowing of Mr. Woog, or Jonathan Thurston having heard of Horatio, or Mikhail Baryshnikov giving the nod to Jack.

A bit like ScarFace Claw hanging with Chuy. Not a bit like, actually A LOT LIKE!

So of course I had to ask for a selfie, which so obliged (See faces up there) and because she is about 6 foot, she had to bend down a lot.

It is quite a strange sensation when you run into someone famous, don’t you think? There was this one time that my interaction with someone famous ended in humiliation (click here) and another time when I was lined up at Woolies behind Cate Blanchett while she wrangled her sons who were behaving like little kids tend to do when lining up at the checkout. She rolled her eyes at me when they started bashing into each other and we totally shared a moment of sisterhood, as my kids were doing the exact same thing.

Do you adore Celeste Barber?

Have you ever fan-girled someone? What happened?


  • shanny

    Screw Celeste (jokes, she’s a fucking goddess) your Scarface Claw reference made this piece! ??

    • Why thank you Shanny xxx

    • Struth

      I loved the Scarface Claw reference the best too. Bahahaha.

  • You I fan-girl you! I seriously still get a shock when I am scrolling through my phone and see a pic of you, Beth and I and I remember that Beth took the phone off me and told me I was doing the selfie thing all wrong lol! But seriously I occasionally scroll through looking for something else and get a shock!

    • Beth knows how to take a good selfie. My arms are too stunted xx

  • Ann-Maree Riley

    Said “Hi Ita” one day in the shopping centre like she was a girlfriend . LOL

  • Wendy

    I am going to her show in Brisbane on Wednesday night but doubt I will get a selfie!!

    • I would love to see her stand up act! Have fun xx

  • Kel

    My Facebook memories told me it was 2 years ago today that we lunched. I fangirled. But I’m so cool and calm and collected that you probs didn’t notice. xxx

    • No way! How can that be two years?

  • Heidi D

    Celeste Barber is great. I have met a couple of famous people at fostercare events. A sports person, can’t remember his name, very famous possible rugby, obviously there was no great excitement there. There was also a lady from home & away, no idea who she was, no big thrill. If you want to see me fangirling then watch me if I ever make it to one of your holiday get togethers

    • I would LOVE to have you come along xx

  • I lost the power of speech when I met Julia Gillard. Despite the fact I have interviewed a few famous entertainers, that I was prepared to meet her and that I can usually talk underwater, even small talk was beyond me. She is someone I truly admire and opportunity lost. I could have kicked myself afterwards.

    • I love her as well and when I met her I said “Nice to meet you Julia Roberts….” What a dickhead.

      • LOL! Lucky she’s probably used to talking to dickheads.