50 Shades of Grey Hair


Well, not quite 50. But at this point in my life I have noticed quite a shift in my outlook, and may I just say, about bloody time! This shift presents itself to me every day, and now I share with you some signs heralding my coming of wisdom, and age.

And it is all alright by me. Bring it on.

  • You are walking down the street and you stop in front of a house and declare your admiration for that particular garden.
  • You make plans to go out to dinner with friends based on the convenience of car parking.
  • You also make the reservation for no later that 7.30? If they cannot get you in until 8pm, you seek an alternative restaurant.
  • You make a noise complaint at 10.30pm to the police about your neighbours’ party.
  • You watch impatiently as the coffee shop lad uses the till to add up the two coffees you have ordered, then use his fingers to work out the change, when all you want to do is grab him by the ear and pull his face closely to yours while hissing “YOU SHOULD HAVE STAYED IN SCHOOL DORKFACE….”
  • You watch a Reality TV show and agree with yourself that youth is wasted on the young. And boobs are not supposed to look like that.
  • When shopping, you always consider the “CARE” label before purchasing. And you avoid linen due to the ironing factor. And anything that needs to be hand washed or dry-cleaned.
  • You avoid drinking coffee after 4pm and avoid drinking alcohol after 8.30pm, because it affects the quality of your sleep.
  • You discuss with your partner each morning, whether you slept well or not.
  • The type of car you buy is a result of how economical it is to run, rather than how sexy it makes you feel.
  • You only wax in summer.
  • Your pants may start to feature the benefits of an elasticized waist and you do not care, because they are extremely comfortable.
  • You do not tolerate fools, but you also know not to spend much of your time and wisdom trying to change people’s minds. Especially idiots.
  • You learn to accept your appearance and make the most of what you have got.
  • You might glance at others who have not chosen to “make the most of what they have got” and have invested in plastic and now look like they have been frozen in a wind tunnel, and feel a bit sorry for them.
  • You realize you would rather go without than drink bad wine.
  • Ditto men.
  • You learn to buy it once, and buy it well. Although this does not count when it comes to shoe sales. All bets are off.
  • Speaking of shoe sales, you go to the ECCO shoe sale. This is because you now realize that it is ok to hate the gym and you have taken up walking, because you can check out all of the lovely gardens as you exercise.
  • You take a multi. A women’s multi.
  • You stop buying magazines because you realize that you are paying for ads and an idealistic representation of how your life should look.
  • You enjoy WSFM on the radio because you know all of the songs.
  • You care less what other people think of you and swing your arms vigorously as you march to the beat of your own drum.
  • And finally, like lamb shanks in the slow cooker, you realize you get better with time.

Did you ever have an epiphany where you realized that you had left your youth behind?

How good was it?

  • Heidi D

    reading through that list I sat here nodding to almost every one. When I had my birthday last month I suddenly realised it would be my last birthday where my age would start with a 4. I can’t even begin to imagine being 50 next year, grown ups are 50 & in my head I’m still that tragic 80’s teen. I have definitely reached an age where I am quite happy being me & if other people don’t like me it’s their loss ? It is no help worrying about things you can’t control or change just make the most of every single day, it makes for a much happier life.

  • Honestly I can’t ever imagine getting to the wine one, but you never know… 😛

  • Bee

    excellent list Mrs W. I also don’t mind referring to myself as an old lady as in when I am in the Telstra/Apple/computer shop and need to check on my mobile phone/program/account or such mentioning to the young person that I’m old and need your help.

  • Glenda McDonnell

    When I turned fifty, the numbers just didn’t fit, I felt like 40, where did that 5 before the zero creep up from, I wasn’t ready to be 50 … then I blinked and it was a 6, except by then, the older and wiser bit, had snuck in, I love the freedom to be ME, tough luck if that doesn’t fit with the rest of the world, I wear it well, these days, rolling my eyes, at stupid judgemental people and ridiculous rules, has become my exercise of choice and I see the rest of my life as one huge adventure that I’m determined to do “My Way”

  • O.M.G. I waited till 67 to go into an Ecco store at Sales time & got me two pairs of sandals…half price..! Also related have not bought anything new for my feet for about 4 years having given up and thought I was confined to Brooks Addictions in Winter and Birkenstock in summer. Delighted new customer ! And as for the agapanthus have not seen any yet on the coast but the Jacarandas are fading so they can’t be far off!

  • These are awesome. “You do not tolerate fools, but you also know not to spend much of your time and wisdom trying to change people’s minds. Especially idiots.” I feel like I’m on the opposite end of the spectrum where I think I’m adulting when I go to Costco and spend $50 on just toilet paper, Tide, and ziplocs…. and that’s with the coupons 😛

  • Tracey

    No arguments from me Mrs Woog, although I will say I f*&king HATE agapanthus and they should all be set on fire.

  • I relate to many of these and I’m in my 30’s!! Great list. x

  • Louise

    well my next birthday will be 50 and I can’t quite believe it. When I look in the mirror with my glasses on I feel surprised by the person looking back at me. I love your list. Luckily I can still drink caffeine as late as I like. Other than that you’ve nailed it for me. I might add to my list that I wear pyjamas whenever possible and slippers are my only at home footwear. Oh and I like watching gardening shows too.

  • Kelpad

    Snap, I’ve just read my life……
    The Aggies are coming, yay! I took a pic too and posted that, Christmas is just around the corner because I spotted our first agapanthus bud!

  • So much sleep talk here! I don’t think either of us have ever slept well at the same time haha

  • Cee

    I’m finding I feel the cold more. Last week when it was about 24C, I was wearing jeans with a poloneck skivvy and a knit jumper !