When Hormones Collide

40 years ago, the average age of a first time mother was 25. This meant that the time that you had a hormone filled teenager, you would still be a spring chicken at the age of 38. This would mean that there was only ONE unpredictable person in the household, something that I think could be quite manageable.

Cut to 2017, our highest fertility rate (births per female) are those in the 30-34 age bracket.

This blog post is a cautionary tale, not an invitation to slag out older mums or younger mums, it is just a pure mathematical equation that you might not have thought about.

Where was Mother Natures head at when she puts a teenager in the same house as a peri-menopausal, or full-blown menopausal woman? WHAT THE DEVIL WHERE YOU THINKING!

This situation is happening here at Casa Da Woog, where in the right hand corner we have the 14-year-old boy, and in the left hand corner, we have the peri-menopausal 44-year-old woman, who has recently developed a slight case of insomnia.

“LADIES AND GENTLEMAN! LET THE GAMES BEGIN!” DING DING…..

Now, considering that I am the grown up in this match, I think that I need to teach my example, but sometimes I find it really hard to follow the advice from those who have travelled this tricky path before me. Oprah Winfrey, my go to guru, has been replaced by parenting legend Maggie Dent who recently wrote an article that is now my screen saver (and life saver I suspect) You can read the whole thing here. But her advice for us that are ready to drive off a cliff a-la Thelma and Louise style, here is her advice for us.

  1. Lighten up, relax and know that this is just a stage and it will pass.
  2. Keep reassuring your son that his memory will get better.
  3. Use fewer words when reminding him of things – try post-it notes or SMS.
  4. Cook heaps of wonderful nourishing food to keep his mood and body in a good place.
  5. Keep in contact with the school.
  6. Let him fail at school so that he knows how that feels.
  7. Know that being 14 only happens once.
  8. Help him be a good friend as good friends are hugely important!
  9. Keep reminding your son that every choice has a consequence.
  10. Remember he has poor brain functioning and it’s not his fault.
  11. Protect your son from people who use shaming actions and language.
  12. Know your son is very sensitive to emotional wounding despite the mask.
  13. Be a positive lighthouse for your son’s friends and ask their parents to do the same for yours.
  14. Love him unconditionally when he mucks up.
  15. Make him accountable when he mucks up.
  16. Surround your son with fabulous men to be father figures/mentors/stewards.
  17. Know that teen boys can be slow to bloom into manhood.
  18. Many boys find change a challenge and they have brain changes, hormonal changes and physical changes all happening at once!
  19. Write him some “mum notes” ( especially after he mucks up) to remind him that he is a good person and you have faith he will become a good man one day.
  20. Help him find his spark– something outside of his bedroom.
  21. Keep the life skills list nearby and keep working on building what he can do!

Which is all very weak and good, but as Moving Pictures say, WHAT ABOUT ME!

Lets be honest. The oestrogen is leaving the building. This important hormone is scientifically linked with mental health issues. It is why I can be described as snappy, irritable and unpredictable. I am so tired but yet, I cannot sleep. TOO HOT. TOO COLD. NEVER JUST RIGHT! I am mediating like some sort of obsessive sweaty desperate housewife, but even so I sometimes have to apologise to the neighbours for my vocal outbursts.

And so with that cheery little Monday Morning outburst, I am off to take a magnesium tablet and try to write copy for a new client’s website. It is an accountancy firm. THAT SHOULD BE JUST THE CURE FOR MY ILLS!

Does anyone else feel like this right now?

Whats the hormone ration happening at your place?

 

  • GAH, accounting copy, almost as fun as the presser I have to write for a car dealer! I too shall be 44 when I have 14-year-old – so this preview is giving me the whimjams (best word ever!)

    • Brace yourself Em. Interesting times xx

  • 49 + 12y/o female. I hear ya loud & clear. Just be thankful you’re not dealing with first menstruation as WELL!!!

  • Heidi D

    I am 49, my daughter is about to turn 15, need I say more ? 😮

  • Angela

    I am 48 , 2 girls 14 and 17. Give me strength….or wine!

    • Wine should be GST free in my own opinion!

  • Oh boy. I do not envy you and wish you all the luck – I know my time will come! I am 33 and pregnant (with a few conditions that are very good at bringing the anxiety PLUS the hormones) with a 6 year old son. I am fairly sure I’m the problem in this equation haha. I have to try so hard not to snap sometimes. I think that menopause + a hormonal teen daughter will be in store for me down the road. OH HOLY CRAP.

    • Breathe! Your time will come xx

  • The insomnia is a killer. You have to find a sanguine place where instead of getting shitty cos you aren’t asleep you can direct your own very calm pleasant little fantasy. You know you have 2 lovely boys and all this shit will pass. Be kind to yourself

    • Thanks Sue. I try to quieten my mind but she is a busy beast!

  • Jacquelyn

    After consulting my 70 year old ob/gyn for an ablation (best procedure ever for painful periods) and cranky PMT, she wrote me out a script for Prozac. I thought, I might see what it’s like. HEAVEN. I may not be on it forever but can I tell you, it has made my whole household (which includes a 15 year old mumbling, rude boy/man who loves to tease his ten year old sister and punch up his twelvsie brother) a lot more palatable. For everyone.

    • Yes I am staring down the barrel of an ablation myself.

  • Mrs Tiddlypip

    Have a 15yr old (yr9) boy, a 13 yr old (yr7) girl and a boy who is 9. I’m 45. It’s bloody hard!

  • Kate in Melbourne, Australia

    51 and still enduring menstruation, now a rusty dribble with extra bonus cramps… Add the 17yo pimply boy/man son longing for a girlfriend, 14yo menstruating (painfully) daughter, 12yo argumentative nephew about to lurch into puberty and a hypochondriac 9yo niece. The air is soupy with hormones! It is NOT easy. I am very weary.

    • Oh Kate. The perfect storm. Make sure you look after yourself FIRST xx