Some bad news

After a rather overwhelming response to yesterday’s post about WHEN HORMONES COLLIDE, I thought today I would dig a little deeper as to why a “few” of us are not quite feeling ourselves.

Please note, there are actually two Dr. Woogs in this country, and I am not one of them. So all information should be taken with a grain of rare Korean oyster salt.

So sit back with a soothing cup of dandelion tea, put on a soundtrack of whales calling out to each other in a far away ocean and relax. As we learn a little something about a little something called cortisol.

“Hello Cortisol! aren’t you a cute little thing, come here…. there’s a good boy….”

So you have it floating around in your body but it is important to try and keep it’s levels in check otherwise too much of it and you will all be like…

“Holy shit! We are all DOOMED! I just doctor googles my dry patch of skin and now I have non-hodgkin lymphoma!” pant pant pant “Why is that suspicious car been parked outside my house for two weeks now? Should I be aware AND alarmed? Why did that person look at me funny? Why did I say that stupid thing in front of all those people in the elevator about a fart? What did that shop assistant mean when she told be she had that pair of jeans in the bigger size if I needed them. I swear to god the next person who leaves drops of piss on the toilet seat, Imma gonna make them drink it up with a straw….”

I listened to a podcast yesterday, specifically dealing with cortisol, and it made me truly sad. Not stressed, ironically, but just sad. Because the guru behind The Anxiety Coaches Podcast, Gina Ryan told me some stuff that I didn’t want to hear. Cortisol rises in your body because of stress. But that is not the only thing….

(Please go and get yourself a box of tissues)

She talks about controlling the things you can, and let go of the things that you cannot. This is not new news, but a good one to be reminded of every now and again.

Mrs Ryan told me not to drink caffeine. The thing is you wake up and amp yourself with a couple of cups of coffee before you can begin your day. Enter more cortisol. (WAILS) I also have a can of Diet Coke everyday RAMPING IT UP AGAIN (Falls onto the floor and curls up into the foetal position) and that 3pm Kit Kat? It needs to go….

WHAT IS THERE LEFT TO LIVE FOR?

So you hock yourself up on caffeine all day and then what do we do to to unwind at the end of the day? We reward ourselves with a glass or two of wine. Oh, thats relaxing…

But the saddist relaxing guru says Nuh-Huh Girlfriend. Not so much Nuh-huh but just watch it.

I know that a lot of you have now stopped reading, because this is the most bloody depressing thing that you have read since seeing that big ruffled sleeves are back in the shops. She suggests that we find another way to relax, but Mr. Woog still hasn’t put up my punching bag yet.

Then she says something about insulin which raises cortisol which I was clueless about. Then she mentioned carbs and sugars. At this point I threw my phone across the room in disgust. Talk about the fun police! Way to take away a gals favourite things in one 30 minute podcast.

I then returned to listening and she said some lovely things about carbs, and how they kind of give you a warm hug from the inside, so I started liking her again, but then she came in and kicked my in my carb filled guts as she started saying that it gets converted to insulin and then that raises the cortisol. She goes onto make some really sensible points about eating, which I will not bore you with here, because all I really want to do is eat a croissant and wash it down with a cappuccino.

Find out more about the evil and excellent Gina Ryan and her Anxiety Coaches Podcast here. 

I DID learn something but I am also of the old school of thought that you only live once. So I have cut back my caffeine, my alcohol intake and my sugar. But you are going to have to wrench the baguette from my cold dead hands, because without bread, I have nothing.

Tell me the truth. How much coffee do you drink a day?

Is de-caf coffee really shit?

  • Heidi D

    I don’t drink coffee or cola drinks at all however my chocolate obsession is probably best not spoken about

    • I can go for weeks without it and then I go to a servo and they all wave at me and then WAGON WHEEL, KIT KAT and CHOKITO!

  • Alison

    I gave up coffee and limit my tea intake too but I need my carb hugs! Also no alcohol on school nights. It does make a difference though it does spoil some fun

    • No booze during the week is a good one. But then again, you can have such a shitty day it is hard to resist. xx

      • Jane

        And sometimes, if you have opened a bottle for the weekend, you don’t finish it. Well that’s no good a week later, it needs to be drunk. (I was so good last week, too)

  • Nicole

    I’ve found this to be very true. I switched to decaf. Positive – Barristers stop rolling their eyes at you eventually. Have stopped drinking too (except odd binge drinking with friends) because boy do I notice it. The spiraling worry sinks in way before the hangover does. And unfortunately carbs are the devils food wrapped in a comforting layer. Delicious as you’re eating them – disasterous 30 mins later. Damn it all to hell!

  • GAH, I hear you, I know all my vices aren’t good for me, but what else is there if they are taken away? (considering making her second coffee of the morning) what’s really going to kill us in inactivity and sugar. Think back 100 years and how tough our great great great grandmothers had it. Everything is bad for you. But moderation….

    • Which is why I am never giving up bread!

  • Best thing: Relaxation exercises that focus on your breath and learning to master your body’s response to stress (mindfulness, meditation, yoga, progressive muscle relaxation). When you’re stressed you activate the stress response system (sympathetic nervous system, which includes cortisol release). When you learn to pay attention to your body and manage your breath you activate your parasympathetic nervous system which winds everything back to a calm state physiologically, mentally and emotionally. Carbs, caffeine, sugar etc all fine in moderation. Breathing right makes it all better 👍🏻 Caveat: Best taught by a professional like a Psych if you’re prone to anxiety.

    • Oh yes!! This type of breathing is helping me overcome my fears relating to my cancer surgeries & travel where IBS might occur. I am learning it via wonderful mind-gut app from Dr Simone Peters.

      • Ooh I must check that one out. I’m always looking for good apps to recommend to people. Thanks Denyse x

        • It is a very expensive one as it replaces me attending the practice for hypnotherapy for IBS. It cost..wait for it…$270. But it has been very helpful!!

          • Wow! Still cheaper than face to face therapy though. Will still investigate it as I’m really interested to know what other allied health professionals are doing with new tech 👍🏻

    • Thanks so much for this Ellen! Very sensible advice. Do you work in the industry?

      • Yep, I’m a workplace psychologist and consultant. Spend a lot of time talking about mental health at work to organisations – and I practise what I preach 😉

  • Donna

    After a 25 year love affair with coffee, multiple coffees of every type, I gave it up for surgery in April last year (I also gave it up whilst pregnant). This time I’ve stayed off it. And there is a good improvement in my anxiety and gut troubles and the occasional heart thumps have also gone.

    Health wise it is well worth giving it up. But like a drug addict I still crave it everyday (but it has gotten easier). I do drink de-caf occassionally which I quite enjoy but am mainly a tea drinker now. Well worth it but gee I miss it!!!

    • Yes I can imagine how hard it must be. I used to have 3 in the morning and one in the afternoon. Cut back to just the one now and saviour it xx

  • I ❤️Gina Ryan because she has been there.. anxiety wise & now reaches out to help others. I’ve listened to her on & off for about a year. The books & CDs she mentions about Dr Claire Weekes (self help for your nerves!) are old-fashioned but right.to.the.point.I have them & they assisted me make somw great changes to “get things done that I had been fearful of doing” eg driving to Sydney on M1. All good for me now. Gina’s FB page for Anxiety podcast is great. She did a podcast on IBS I found really helpful.
    As far as cortisol is concerned I have had far too much of it in my system & am learning how to breathe more effectively when I feel the signs & often walk it out even if it is just around the house. I can drink one coffee in a day if I feel like it with no ill effects. I hope others who stop by & read this post catch up with Gina too! Denyse xx

    • Yes she is very empathetic. Great progress Denyse xx

  • Christina

    Oh my….I know I’m addicted to Coke (coca-cola!!!)….it’s sooooo hard to kick!🧐🤨🤪😏😒

    • I am seriously in love with Diet Coke.

      • Christina

        I love the real stuff….but the sugar is killing me😕

  • Faaarkkk. All those lovely things gone in one podcast. Maybe life will be longer or maybe it will just seem so. It’s not even 8am here but pass me a choc top beer please

  • Cee

    I have to cut back too 🙁