Gone to Seed

Yesterday I took a good, long, hard look into the mirror and found it to be quite interesting as to what can result when one throws out exercising, grooming, ignoring any type of beauty regime, eating chocolate croissants at any given time of the day and saying yes to that 4pm gin and tonic most afternoons, for the past three weeks.

In short, I have gone to seed.

gone to seed” refers to the stage in gardening in which the flowers are not blooming and the leaves have fallen off the trees, like during the winter. So basically when refering to a person or thing, it means past its prime, not full of life any more.”

But instead of thinking “Holy Fuck who is that haggard version of myself,” I am embracing this haggard version of myself, and have taken upon a project. CLUB ME!

It began with an eyebrow appointment this morning, which is what I actually want to discuss today. Eyebrows that have been let GO TO SEED for eight weeks mean that the eyebrow person has plenty to work with.

Remember in the 90’s when we all looked like this?

Mine never did quite recover.

A good eyebrow person is paramount to have in one’s life in these modern days. And there are even CELEBRITY EYEBROW ARTISTS that you can book into see, albiet a few years out.

One such artiste is Sydney fella Nathan Williams of Parlour B in Paddington. Now, years ago, before I let myself totally go, when I had no children and a disposable income, sometimes I would go out and get social. One such evening I ended up at a mates’ housewarming party, where we went along to meet his new boyfriend.

My mate told me that his new lover was an eyebrow artist and so naturally, like when I meet a Doctor in a social situation when I perhaps could be socially lubricated by fermented liquor, I asked him for an honest assessment regarding my eyebrows.

Well, he didn’t quite recoil back metres in horror, but the look on his face spoke volumes. I was eyebrow shamed.

Years later after their relationship “went to seed” I was with a fancy friend running errands when she told me that I had to go with her to her eyebrow appointment. And being a good friend I agreed. So you can only imagine my surprise when we tuned up to a place called Parlour B to see Nathan working his magic on some celebrity’s eyebrows. (She is a morning TV Host whose name rhymes with Mamantha)

Nathan recognised me from that party and asked me if he could do my eyebrows and I was all like….

Magic happened during those twenty or so minutes. I have no idea who or why, but I had actual brows. Two beautifully arched, thick, lustrous eyebrows that I thought I was HOT SHIT.

In Australia, the business of the brow is a multi-million dollar industry. For eyebrows. Eyebrows are on your body to prevent sweating into your eyes. Eyelashes are there to stop dust getting into your eyeballs. But now you can get them tattooed on!

So I am slowly coming back from looking like the “wreck of the Hesperance “

I think it is going to take a whole. Tomorrow, we shave legs. Join  me?

What is your relationship like with your eyebrow artist?

Did you know that there are now also celebrity manicurists?