Mrs Woog decides to stop killing herself

You may have heard the rumours around the inter-webs that I (hopefully) put out my last cigarette at around 9.30pm on Sunday night. An hour later, I called a mate and begged her to bring me a cigarette over, but thankfully she was too pissed to oblige me.

So in the last 24 hours I have experienced every single emotion known to humankind, including several new ones that I have discovered and am in the process of patenting. Pretty much everyone is annoying me. Mr. Woog has decided to go on a health kick to get his cholesterol down and spent fucking a billion dollars on things like organic tahini and this-is-not-butter-but-has-been-made-in-a-lab-to-taste like-butter-that-will-be-$46-please.

So he is cooking all this shit that no one else wants to eat so I ate party pies for dinner last night because I ordered pizza online but the pizza placed was closed yet they were still accepting and taking orders online which was as shifty as FUCK but they called this morning and apologised and credited my account. FREE PIZZA but not really.

In between sulking and forgetting that I don’t smoke anymore, I am in despair that it would appear that everyone in the entire universe is happy, laying on beaches in filtered Instagram shots with their hot husbands and fluff free fanwas. Their children are not having tantrums and slamming doors, or even running away which one of mine did last week. I waved them off from the front porch.

What a time to give up smoking. But there is never a good time to give up smoking. I know the difference between habit and addiction and those to babies dance a mean duet. The habit turns to the addiction “Care to lead…” and before you know it, your body is requiring that nicotine hit.

And I fucking hate those holier than thou folks who look down on smokers “Filthy habit…” Good people smoke. Bad people smoke. Clever people smoke and morons smoke.

So today, instead of buying cigarettes, while Mr. Woog was searching the supermarket for sunflower seeds, I got myself a gift. Some new mags to read that do not try to tell me about Karl Stefanovic’s crotch.

These magazines will do one of two things. They will make me drink tequila and cry about missing smoking or they will turn me into the best version of myself I can be, now with added skills such as flower pressing and origami. And how the fuck am I going to find my happy?

Anyway, enough blathering from me. A shout out to beautiful reader Jane who came up to me at Hoyts yesterday and congratulated me on giving up. You are awesome and that made me feel good. Thank you.

How the devil are you?


  • Michele

    Well done. Im on a detoxy thing myself and have given up snacking and coffee. Im sure it doesnt compare to giving up smoking but i sorta get it. I miss the concept of getting a takeaway concept. The pleasure.

    • Have cut down to one coffee a day. And one Diet Coke xx

      • Oh love not everything at once..or is it because of association? I really feel for you doing this even though I haven’t “really” smoked except for pretending to with Virginia Slims Menthols in 1970! What!!?? I know. Please be kind you yourself and treats are good for you! I just hope no-one ever tells me to give up sugar or chocolate because…#addict. And no thanks IQS peeps..I Am Fine! Can’t do much with only 8 teeth anyway.Sending hugs if they help. With much admiration xxx

  • Wendy

    Congrats Mrs Woog! Go you!

    • Thank your Wendy xx

      • Wendy

        Did I miss the Nooooooooosa Catch up?

  • Ann-Maree Riley

    Be kind to yourself Mrs Woog..It will be worth it. xxxxx

  • Me

    You got this Mrs Woog. Hang in there!

  • Pam

    Save your cigarette spend until you are free and then treat yourself to something special. I bought my first desktop computer with my ciggie money!!

  • Heidi D

    Hang in there, you can do this. Just think of all the things you can buy with the money you save ……. dumplings maybe ? 😉

  • st0li

    I enjoyed celebrating the small victories and the minor health milestones. Like my hair smelling fresh after a night out, my sense of taste returning (everything tasted AMAZING!) no longer being ruled by “have I got enough smokes to last me through?” and getting frantic if I’d run out, my eyes becoming more sparkly, my skin improving and being able to recall my dreams again. I still miss smoking at times but I don’t miss smelling like an ashtray or the enormous power ciggies had over me. Go gently, enjoy each achievement however small, and hang in there!

    • I am not missing the power thing but I also have had to change my ways of doing things.

      • Jennifer M

        It is an adjustment. I am coming up to 6 years ciggie free. My motivation? Having a grandchild and not wanting to be a stinky nanna. So the time was right after years of smoking. And it so gets easier. I thought I would never enjoy wine without having a smoke or hundred. But it doesn’t cross my mind anymore. And let’s face it the cost these days is unbelievable so that is a good incentive too. Good luck lady and no judgements. X

  • From someone who has just fallen off the wagon with her magazine addiction I wish you luck on the gateway to your new (be it much healthier) addiction. 😉 xx

    • What ones do you read Karin?

      • My new favourite is Smith Journal. It is filled with really interesting articles about things I never knew I would find interesting. Also like Homes Plus, Frankie, Raspberry, Lunch Lady and Mama Disrupt but give Smith Journal a go for sure!

  • Well done on giving up. Go and buy some real butter. The taste will amaze you now you’ve stopped smoking cigarettes.

    • Stocked up on Lurpack this morning. Thanks for the encouragement xx

    • Stocked up on Lurpack this morning. Thanks for the encouragement xx

      • Excellent. I love that butter. It tastes so good.

        • Leoni

          I can also vouch for Kerrygold butter #notthin #soworthit

          • I don’t think I’ve tried that. I must look for it. Thanks for the tip.

  • Danica

    Wow. Never mentioned smoking before. Must be really tough to give up a two cigarette a day habit. Still trying to be one of the cool kids…..

    • Darling Danica!

      I give you the honour of being my first nasty commentor of the year. Well done to you. Please email me your address so I can send you a Woogsworld t-shirt.

      Congratulations. You should be very proud of yourself 👏🏻👏🏻👏🏻

      • Wendy

        Love it! Would love a Woogsworld T-shirt so if she doesn’t claim it send it to me! No nasty comments from me EVA!

  • Alex

    Mrs Woog, I love your blog but rarely comment. Without wanting to rub my beach holiday in your face I took your recent advice and booked John to pick us up at Sunshine Airport. He is the sweetest, kindest guy and when I explained how I found his number he asked me to pass on a huge THANK YOU to you. He was delighted to know how the connections were made. All the best with the quit-a-thon. You can do it! 🙂

    • Oh I am so pleased. He is a legend.

  • Food and cigarettes cannot be targeted in one health kick. Start with the ciggies, but EAT WHATEVER YOU LIKE WHILE YOU ARE GIVING UP CIGGIES. Then go onto the tahini shit later.

  • AA96726

    Good for you! My mom can’t smoke anymore because she was put on oxygen(because of a lifetime of smoking), which she can’t wait to get off of, so she can smoke again. Crazy addictive crap. I quit 15 years ago and sometimes it’s still hard, but it does get better, slowly.

    • It is a very powerful addiction. Hopefully she will see it soon. X

  • Gail Giudice

    You can do this! But just remember if you don’t succeed this time, you have actually lost nothing in your attempt. It just means you are still a smoker. I really believe there is a time when it is “right”. I started smoking at 15 and smoked for 37 years and at the time I gave it up was a very heavy smoker (50+ daily) After a binge smoking episode I woke up with a blood filled cough and had to wait 48 hours to get into my Doctor. I was like a little kid promising God that if he got me through this without cancer, I would finally give up (for the hundredth time) No cancer, just emphysema and a burst blood vessel but for some reason I went ahead with my promise. I managed to dig out a book my eldest daughter had bought me called The Easy Way to Stop Smoking by Allen Carr. Best gift she has ever bought me. I started reading it on Monday and by Friday I had stopped smoking completely, no cravings, no bad moods. BUT I was on my own at home, no stress, no husband, no kids and I repeat no stress! I replaced my cigarettes with water I think but still put on about 4kg which I have never lost. I can sit beside a smoker and it does not bother me at all. I do wish you luck Mrs Woog!

    • Thank you for sharing your story xx

  • Emily Furlong

    And day two is drawing to a close. Every day is a success and should be celebrated. I have never been a smoker, but I have watched both my parents do it in their 50s and have seen how hard it can be. If you fall off, just get back up, dust yourself off and go again. There’s no shame in set backs. Behind you 100%.

  • Kelley @ magnetoboldtoo

    Girl, I gave up (unintentionally) on April Fools Day. And then had to visit my child in hospital who was admitted overnight. Fun times. But I did it. And, if you are ready, you will too.


    Embrace the suck, woogie. Is gonna be hard but you got dis as you got a bunch of kickarse shielas beside you xx

  • Donna

    Hang in strong!
    Hugs from here.

  • Murf Lorraine Arndell

    Good for you and a little tip to help hopefully. Grab the money you would have spent on fags and put it somewhere safe. It only took a few months and I had enough cash to have a great trip to Fiji. Makes you keep on abstaining when you can spend the cash on good hols.

  • Flora the Explorer

    No one has perfect instagram beach hols with hot husband and manicured bits, don’t worry. Our cat died yesterday so I spent evening in stained T-shirt, clutching snotty tissues and cold tea. Also stale Marie biscuits from bottom of cupboard. Washing piled up, dog peed on rug and I failed to give a shit.
    Giving up the sticks is an amazing strong thing to do- good luck!!

    • Flora I am so sorry about your cat. I can’t imagine the pain xx

    • Jenny Andersen

      My condolences

  • Kate in Melbourne, Australia

    No sunny perfection here. Had to give up all my January plans for chemotherapy. I find out the schedule tomorrow.

    Keep going with the quitting. Cancer’s fucking awful.

    • Oh darling that is just shit xx

  • whicocan

    So glad you are becoming a non smoker! Very hard to do but so worth it. You can do it! I used my cig$ to take a one year non smoking anniversary trip. Lovely trip it was. Use any and all helps you can. I did Chinese beads stuck on my earlobes, a timer watch that chimed every hour to remind me to take 5 deep breaths(ex smokers tend to breathe shallowly) and a guided relaxation tape where I visualized walking down a trail and tossing out all my cigarettes as I went. I had to add trash cans along the trail as I just could not visualize just throwing them off the trail. It will be 22 years in Aug. 2018. Wishing you the best and a huge hug.

    • Wow! That’s tremendous xx

    • Jenny Andersen

      I am 22 years too! My big brother (who runs a kinesiology centre in Byron Bay so he knows these things …) said to only smoke on the 1/4 hour, if it’s 9.17 you have to wait until 9.30, if you miss that one then it’s 9.45 etc, then once you’ve broken the back of those regular cravings it’s on the 1/2 hour, then the hour. The rest is history.

  • whicocan

    Forgot to say how brave you are to put this out in public. It can’t be easy to publicly declare when it is so so hard to do. Tons of admiration coming at you from Colorado USA

    • I figured if I tell my story others will share theirs!

  • We ( miss 12 & I) rearranged the house on the weekend to be able to use the Wii again. Currently I’m at 6 mins of exercise & she’s at 3. My Wii fit age is 7 years than my actual so I’m not completely complaining, I will complain at the 19kg I’ve out on since we last used it…

  • All I can say is good for you. Quitting anything is hard and it sounds like you are trying to do everything (except some of the mags, and beware, you might come across a stray crotch there). Be kind to yourself and treat it like a day spa experience but at home. Perhaps Mr Woog could fan you and feed you grapes, in between offering the occasional detox massage? Or am I dreaming? Seriously, you’ve got this and it’s great he’s doing his own challenge. Just – take it easy and don’t freak out if you mess up. But something tells me you won’t x