So I sat in the waiting room at Dr Wines, clutching the radiogram (Is that the right word?) and flicked through a New Idea from 2014. For those who don’t know, I am being bothered by an old war injury which needs seeing to.

Because I am a sticker for punctuality, I turned up ten minutes early fully expecting my name to be called at exactly 11.10am. This is why I am constantly frustrated, as I set reasonable expectations, but I know that these things cannot be helped so I started a Candy Crush Marathon. But those around me were not so forgiving and I saw the worst in people in that room that day, my friends. May I add that I was at something called a Leg Clinic and there were several surgeons there, including someone known as Dr. Knee, who just does knee replacements. There were a lot of older people in the crowded waiting room and a lot of young men with legs in casts.

My name was eventually called and I was led through a maze of corridors to a little room, where I was instructed to sit and remove my shoes. The lady then shut the door and left me staring at a mounted signed Wallabies Jersey on the wall. I shit you not.

Eventually a man popped in and introduced himself as Dr. Wines. I liked him immediately. He spent approximately 4.6 seconds feeling my leg before teaching me to go upstairs and get an x-ray.


So upstairs I did go, passing strangely named businesses such as The Sydney Candlemaker’s Guild and the TongZhou Yoga Centre, which looked amazing! I looked through the glass door to see a dark room with about two dozen people laying completely still, under fluffy looking donnas, with a pillow under their heads and an eye mask on. IF THIS IS A LEGITIMATE TYPE OF EXERCISE WHERE THE HELL DO I SIGN!

Then I went and had an x-ray. Should out to radiographers everywhere. You go ok.

Back down to the Docs where I give the receptionist the x-rays and she tells me to take a seat. Five seconds later my name is called and the woman next to me implodes with external rage as she has been waiting for longer than me, even though she was there to see a different doctor.

I am lead to a different room which has a signed Basketball Top framed, hanging over the examination bed. Dr. Wines appeared, spent approximately 6.4 seconds examining the x-ray before giving me his diagnosis, which was that two of the screws near my ankle were going to see the light of day again. Yes, my friends. They are coming out and I plan to give them to Uberkate to make me a unique set of earrings that can be used as a talking point if required.

“See my earrings?” I would say… “They spent 22 years in my leg.” No, not creepy at all, so I am so doing it.

Then I was BACK to reception where they booked in my operation. I lamented the fact that an overnight stay wasn’t required, but the receptionist said that that could be arranged if I wanted it! She said quite often Mums ask for an overnighter just so they don’t have to cook dinner, but I opted for my own bed, and told her that I was going to be milking this for all it was worth and that there was NO WAY I would be cooking for weeks!

So thats my update. Whats news with you?

Had surgery lately?