EIGHT REASONS WHY LIVING IN SYDNEY MAKES MUMMY CRY

So, yeah. I was having a chat to the old ball and chain in the kitchen the other night. He was making zucchini slice and I watched with interest as he started to grate three long, smooth cucumbers. It has got nothing to do with the point of today’s lesson, but I just thought it was quite an interesting observation.

After we caught up on all the usual suspects, the weather, the kids, current state of financial play, Mr Woog made a general observation about how the world is an angry place.

“I was in an ├╝ber the other day,”He quipped “And the driver told me that people are getting angrier and ruder all the time.” To which I responded with…

“WELL YOU ARE A FUCKING IDIOT THAT CANNOT TELL WHAT VEGGIES ARE WHAT…..”

Not not really, because he was actually cooking and that behaviour is always to be encouraged. But I did stop and have a good think about things, and I came away from that cerebral visit in agreeance with Mr Woog’s Uber Driver.

World, you have gone mad!

From the cranky lady who yelled at me because I didn’t pick up after my dog (who had done a wee…) to every second person on Twitter!

I discussed this with the ladies who Huff and Puff and asked them why we are all so angry. Apparently we are all too much in a rush to get to places, tick all the boxes and our standards are unbelievably high. Trainer to the reluctant suggested we all take a Vitamin D and a Magnesium tablet.

 

No before I totally let myself off the chain here, I am talking about city slickers. As you know, because you are a loyal reader, I recently spent some time in the country, where the folk were so laid back that in several instances, I had to poke them with a stick to make sure they were still alive! So friendly and chilled were they, on my return I announced to the family that we were selling up and heading for them there hills. So far my genius plan has bore no fruit. Instead I will give you….

EIGHT REASONS WHY LIVING IN SYDNEY MAKES MUMMY CRY

  1. The fact that every time you leave your house, even if it is to fetch the mail, it costs you $50.
  2. You require 3 valium to go to the self service checkout at the supermarket where you will no doubt fuck it up, leaving the machine beeping loudly, lights flashing and no where can you find that surly teenager who has the magic card to make it all go away. And then you have all the other customers glaring at you, as if you are a complete imbecile.
  3. Getting a booking at a popular restaurant is the most massive favour they can bestow upon you, as long as you are out in under 45 minutes.
  4. You get a $250 fine in the school pickup line because you waved to a friend.
  5. You plan a fun day at the beach and after an hour and a half circling in the carpark, no one is speaking to anyone and we turn the car around and go straight home.
  6. People. They are everywhere. Ditto cars. Ditto Parking Inspectors.
  7. Social discussions that revolve around housing prices, renovations and where you kid goes to school.
  8. The Public Transport System is shit house. Plus I read some article about some guy getting a blozza from a stranger on a train this morning which means I can never go on a train again EEEWWWWWW.

any decent man, you revolting person

THREE REASONS THAT MAKES IT WORTHWHILE

  1. I have lots of lovely friends who live nearby
  2. My kids go to a great public school (See point seven, point at me and call me a hypocrite)
  3. We have amazing Asian and Lebanese food places that deliver.

So, having let that all out I am very genuinely interested in the answer to this question.

Why do you live where you live?