My Top Five Confidence Boosters

Today I want to discuss the notion of confidence. I do this as I nurse a broken bum. Allow me to explain.

I was at a friends house on Saturday evening. She lives not far from me, a few blocks away. We had had a couple of cups of confidence cordial so I couldn’t drive the car home, so she suggested we hover-board back to my place. This, is a hover-board. They belong to her kids.

So immedialty I told her no, there was absolutely no fucking way that I could do that! That is for the young and the brave. I was old and sensible and scared to do anything risky. She assured me that I could and we had a little practice on the road outside her house. After a few minutes, I felt my confidence rise. Perhaps I could do this after all! Her husband ran and got every single bit of safety equipment that they owned and after an hour and a half of me being padded up AKA The Michelin Man, off we went. Ever so gingerly, me being encouraged by my friends calm instructions, my confidence began to grow. Like, you remember when you learnt to ride a bike, and one of your oldies would run behind you until all of a sudden you are like LOOK MUM NO HANDS!

After a few blocks I was whizzing like a pro. But then a series of events occurred.

Firstly, a car went past quite quickly, and then my friend yelled out “Watch it, there’s a snake on the road!” and then I lost it.

Lost my confidence. Lost my balance and flew off the back of the board directly onto my tailbone and I am here to tell you friends, an asphalt road has zero give. And as I lay there looking up into the starry starry night, I enjoyed a rush of endorphins that could only be superseded by the most hideous pain in my bum. My mate came over and helped me up, suggesting that we walk the rest of the way and I was all like FUCK THAT, and just like one must get back on the horse once one has been bucked off, I got back on that little board and glided the rest of the way home.

The weekend was very long after that with only short trips being able to be taken. But I can tick the box if I am ever asked the question, “Have you ever hover-boarded?”

I speak to a lot of women and I find that as you age, your confidence either grows, or becomes diminished. I am the first one to put my hand up and say I am finding self confidence a struggle. I can come up with great ideas and grandiose plans, but when it comes to delivering them, I am so full of self doubt that I find myself making excuses to get out of things. I watch on in wonder at people who started out blogging at the same time that I did (back when you did it purely for fun) and they are hitting tremendous and well deserved home runs, leaping forward with such confidence in their abilities to make things successful that it is all I can do but clap them in.

I do not compare myself, because I am well aware that comparison is the thief of joy, but i am not afraid to admit that I wish I could have a bit more chutzpah, a little more oomph in the tank, a little more RAH RAH TEAM WOOG and a little less, “Girlfriend…. you got no business dreaming those dreams!”

Slowly I am trying turning the ship around, by saying yes to things that would normally have me running for the hills. Saying yes to job opportunities that I might have once deemed to “risky”, as well as saying no to the things that I know will not bring me any joy whatsoever.

But there are a few little things that I find quite helpful that might help you boost your confidence, even just a scontch.

  • Accept a compliment. If someone gives you a compliment, look them right in the eye, smile and say “Thank you!” Nothing more, no apologies or “this old thing…” type of bullshit. Just “Thank You.” I learnt this off a traveller when I was backpacking 24 years ago.
  • Get off the social media. (But not until you have read, commented and shared this most excellent blog post.) There is no doubt that social media has a negative impact on self esteem, with up to 60% of users reporting that this is the case.
  • Everyone has two voices in their head. I have Kind Mrs Woog and Bitch Face Mrs Woog. Every time Bitch Face Mrs Woog gets a bit mouthy, Kind Mrs Woog goes in and gives her a cuddle, and in the nicest possible way, tells her to shut the fuck up.
  • Remind yourself of your successes and your strengths. Do this everyday. Write it down. Get A tattoo saying it. I don’t care, just do it.
  • Rid yourself of toxicity. This could mean people, habits, reading stupid websites like The Daily Mail, anything that let’s negativity in. Because negativity erodes confidence FACT.

So I do apologise for coming over all Oprah on you today, but I think that sometimes, the only thing that actually holds us back is ourselves. So let’s take a leaf out of our fearless females who are our there kicking ass!

How would you describe your self confidence?

Are you kicking ass or getting your ass kicked?