Personal Grooming

In this age of EVERYBODY LOOK AT ME, particularly on social media, your personal care can fall into one of three categories.

  1. Regular maintenance
  2. Seasonal cleaning
  3. Hoarder

I solemnly declare that the inspiration for this post occurred to me a few days ago. I had been gifted a pair of ugg boots 12 months ago, and as an older woman, my personal grooming has become somewhat, well, less essential to drinking hot beverages and reading books. As horrified as I care to admit it, my finger and toe nails have developed to be “as tough as nails.” And this unexpected signal of ageing means that a visit to the local mani/pedi salon becomes less of a vanity project, and more of a medical one.

I sat there in the over-light and under-priced nail salon, and apologised to my nail technician for the state of my talons. Then I looked around me, and was shocked.

This nail bar was full of 13 year old girls getting full sets of acrylics while my toenails are getting seen to by an angle grinder. Naturally, I blame Kim Kardashian. Shouldn’t they all be riding BMX bikes through the bush and smoking stolen ciggies?

But then I stopped and thought about my own personal maintenance. And here is what I came up with.

Let us start with a house on your street, and if you live on our street, it could typically be ours but not for any effort on my part. Mr. Woog enjoys a tidy garden, a well swept verandah, regular hedging of hedges and a newly found interest in frangipani cuttings and elk-horn art. This is a new addition to his unfolding mid-life crisis.  He exercises for 60 minutes each and every day, has lost 15 kilos this year since shunning meat from his diet, and by far and beyond a very agreeable (and hot) dude.

Mr. Woog partakes is REGULAR MAINTENANCE.

Me? I am into seasonal cleaning.

Four times a year, when the wind changes and the trees look different, I think about updating my personal grooming. Once upon a time, my idea of heaven was scheduling a day full of beauty treatments, manis and pedis and perhaps a whirl around Myer. I have since readjusted my priorities and that time spent getting a spray tan would be better spent time spent getting a cocktail with a mate.

Which brings me to the essence of being a seasonal cleaner. And just a reminder, whether you are into regular maintenance, seasonal cleaning or a hands up hoarder, none of you are better than the other. You are who are and you should not make any excuses for it.

And while some people like to regular maintain their gardens, some like to let it go to seed. For me, I let my whole personal grooming go to crap until such a time that I am going to actually present myself as a totally functioning adult and that is where my team really comes into play.

Hurried and desperate phone calls go out to those who are willing to smear hot wax onto bits of my body, from ring to ring, and rip those bastards out from the roots that they were well acquainted with, for months on end, and then I give them money.

Then I will call Sash from Sage go here if you are in Sydney, (I don’t get a freebie and I pay full freight because they are awesome and we need to support small businesses) and she sorts out the greys and the fuzz.

It makes me thing about my Grandma’s, Marion and Myrtle, and their Sunday Roast Dinners. I only recall their smiles, not their chin chairs.

And I know that those chin hair and moustaches they were present. We just didn’t look for them.

Who are you? (and there is not wrong answer.)

Regular maintenance

Seasonal cleaning

Hoarder