Just add it to the list!

One of my favourite things to do when I was a kid was to visit my grandparents of their property in Kootlingal, near Tamworth. And one of my favourite things to do when I was there was to go into Nanna’s room, put all of her diamond rings on and roll a roll of Quick Eze. I can recall that Nanna’s lollies were not that nice to eat, but I figured it was better than nothing.

Many decades later, I would come to depend on them just to get through the day. As soon as than sperm hit that egg, I suffered intense heartburn. Have you ever had it before? You think that your chest is on fire! And as the pregnancy progressed, I had to add PRUNE JUICE into my diet as I was backed up like the F2 on a Friday night of a long weekend. Oh the glamour of it all!

The strangest thing though, as soon as Horatio came out my heartburn left. Just like that! Gone.

This is all a pleasant segue to lead to a little incident that occurred last night. They kids were out doing their various activities and were coming home at different times, so I made up a batch of Tuna Mornay which could be re-heated when required. I was starving! I served myself a large portion, squeezed some lemon onto it, dusted it with fresh black pepper, and lay on the couch like Cleopatra, with my dinner propped up on a pillow, while I flicked on the news.

In that manner of a labrador, I shoved four quick spoonfuls into my mouth and I cannot recall chewing. Just wolfed it down like a fucking pig.

And then it happened.

Now, do you remember in Sex and the City, when Miranda chocked on something and had to body slam herself on the kitchen bench to dislodge the chicken? I too, flew straight into my COME TO JESUS MOMENT but it wasn’t because of a blocked airway. It was the crushing, BURN BABY BURN, attack that came on so quickly that Peter Overton had not even gone through the headlines. I dropped the spoon and went into spasm. I tried to do deep breaths to get some relief, but it only made it worse!

Fuck! I AM HAVING A HEART ATTACK!

Nothing I did was making the pain go away. I staggered to my feet and as soon as I was upright, something happened. The pain went away as quickly as it had come. I could have cried with relief.

And then I thought about it. Who in their right mind would mix fish with milk and cheese and think that was a great idea?

So now I can add Tuna Mornay to my long list of phobias.

The end.

Do you get Heart Burn?

What are your triggers?

I have a friend who cannot drink gin and tonic! Oh the humanity!