Good Korma

I am heading off overseas later this month to hang out with some readers, hydrate with fermented concoctions, have my shoulders removed from my ear lobes via massages and ponder the meaning of life while bobbing around in the Bay of Bengal on a giant, novelty, blow up pineapple flotation device.

So of course my anxiety dreams have started to kick in. Not about flying or getting eaten by a very angry shark, but something much more serious.

Losing my passport and wallet.

Last night in my dream I was flying from India to China (no idea why….) but as I arrived in Shanghai I realised that I had left my wallet and my passport on the back, back in Goa. (Again I have no idea why I was there, but let us continue.) It turns out that the Chinese are not fond of undocumented citizens arriving and I was taken to a cell and beaten by an old lady with a rolled up communist newspaper.

(This is the brain that I live with everyday. You are welcome!)

Now, to my point. Losing ones wallet is the biggest pain in the ass. You spend a day looking for it, going over the last time you might have used it and doing everything you can to delay the inevitable, which is accepting the fact that your life has been put on pause for a while. Then you have to tell the old ball and chain, he rolls his eyes and tells you “That is a complete pain in the ass…” before the phone calls start.

“I’d like to cancel our visa cards please.”

The roll on affect continues. You have to borrow a wedge of cash from a willing mate, head to the RTA to replace your licence. Call Medicare, Qantas Frequent Flyers, Costco, Bupa and every other entity that you carry around in your wallet normally. You have to call all the services such as Telstra, Gas, Electricity and every other resource that sucks money out of your account. Kids complain that their apps are no longer working. SUFFER LITTLE CHILDREN.

It is such a massive pain in the ass. I will stop writing about it because I am getting triggered.

So when I came across this today in the Manly Daily, I was just so darn happy and it restored a small slice in my faith in humanity during a time when the world seems like it has taken a bad trip and is making some very questionable decisioins.

Mrs Immaraj and I both thank you, you kind, kind soul. Consider yourself a fully paid up member of the decent human being society. And go and have that dinner. I know I would!

Have you ever lost your wallet or have you ever returned one?