Have you ever been shamed by your choice of sustenance?

Do you know how sometimes you read the papers or read news online, or scroll though bullshit on Facebook, and you come across an article like this kind?

According to Google, there are 32,300,000 articles like this one. I had, everyday for lunch, a vegemite sandwich and an apple. Everyday. Sometimes there was cheese, but mainly vegemite. And I grew up just fine!

Shut up.

Lunchbox shamers are sad people. And I hate to say this, but it doesn’t stop once school has finished.

This week, I caught up with a mate. She is a physio in a busy hospital and eats her lunch in about 8 minutes before heading back to work. Now, she tells me that she feels that she is lunch shamed most days, because as her colleagues sit down to quinoa and kale salads, she hoovers a cheese sandwich everyday. She feels the disapproving looks as she unwraps it from her single use plastic bag, and can feel the horror of her colleagues as they discover…….

that the bread…..

is…..

white.

Now, you know that I *ahem* like to research my articles extensively as to add value to my already ridiculous topics, but here is some key findings on cheese sandwiches.

  • The humble cheese sandwich is most popular in the UK, who actually are fantastic cheesemakers may I add.
  • Not related, but just thought I would mention that my Dutch Step-Monster has family in Holland who have a cheese farm. After writing this blog for ten years, I can’t believe I have never mentioned that before.
  • The cheese that McDonalds use is processed made with cheddar cheese that’s blended with other cheeses and ingredients such as salt, water, milk solids, emulsifier, colours and preservative. Little vomit in my mouth.
  • New York Eatery Serendipity sells a sandwich wankery called The Quintessential Cheese Sandwich will sells for a wankery price of $214. DO YOU KNOW HOW MUCH KALE THAT WOULD GET YOU?
  • Bread and cheese is an ancient food according to food historians, popular across the world in many cultures. As good as ancient grains if you ask me! What actually is an ancient grain. A post for another day perhaps….

And then of course there is this. The Daily Mail? What would I do without you….

And so I say to that judgemental group of Physiotherapists who look down upon my friend with great shame and distain, at least she is getting laid more than the rest of you salad slaves.

Also, I tried to work this into the story somehow, but my friend also said that one of her colleagues eats hot chips and a can of Coke for lunch, and they are all secretly very jealous of her.

Have you ever been shamed by your choice of sustenance?