A new danger.

It was not elegant and it was not pretty, but the impact was immediate. On Monday morning, during Huffy Puffy, I did something to my neck. Now, I hire a lady to teach me how NOT to hurt myself and she was true to her training. But I hurt my neck, not by lifting a weight, or bending my body into pretzel like inhuman positions.

I hurt my neck by heaving myself off a yoga mat. I was laying down when I was told I needed to be standing and BANG. Now, getting up from a stationary horizontal position should not be that hard as to end in a painful injury, but apparently it can be done. I did what all good social media oversharers do, I got online and had a good old bitch about it.

And you know something? It is not that uncommon to hurt yourself while doing something unremarkable. My community were quick to offer support and their own stories.

I fell INTO an Uber last weekend and hit my face on the door – was aching for days god getting old is just bloody dangerous!!!

Don’t feeel too bad, I’ve put my back out in the following very mundane ways: loading the dishwasher, brushing my teeth (WTAF) and getting undies out of a suitcase. AND that was all in my 20’s and 30’s. Crack out the anti inflammatories and hot packs and take it easy!

Yep. Put my hip out getting something out of the dryer. Was out of action for two weeks. This aging business is a crock.

I put myself in hospital rolling over in bed one night…. and then again giving my daughter a hug…. and then again sitting on a chair untangling a box of computer cables…. my back spasmed so hard each time my muscles locked and I couldn’t move. Morphine and a ride in the ambulance to ED who then gave my anti-inflams and valium. Stuck there until the muscle relaxants decided to work. Then months of pain and rememdial massage and rehab exercises to fix it. It’s bullshit! And sooooo much fun trying to explain your injury to others without being judged for being some sort of lazy fat c**t. I sometimes think my body hates me… why else would it do this shit to me?

I sprained my shoulder getting out of bed today…

Getting older is so much fun, I have broken ribs coughing ….. more than once!

Ok so a few weeks ago I had an overnight stay in Sydney catching up with my bestie. I slept in her daughter’s single bed. You can imagine my surprise after way too many wine when I rolled over in the middle of the night to cuddle my husband only to fall out of bed. It was loud and painful. I was battered and bruised. Thankfully I didn’t break anything. Must be thanks to vitamin D.

As we age and become menopausal our ligaments loosen and our vaginas dry up. Be careful out there.

Have you ever injured yourself doing something quite ordinary?