Are you Team Tank?


Recently I caught up with a very dear friend. Over coffee, we did the usual chit-chat, told tales from the parenting battlefields and generally laughed at life and then, maybe cried a bit. You know. The usual mid-forty lady catch up. They are good for the soul and allow you to offload anything that is festering inside you. Can recommend.

I looked across the table at her and said something about her nice top. Was it new?

My friend informed that indeed it was new. And this year she had decided that she was going to embrace the singlet top. She had spent her whole adult life wearing sleeves and she was just too bloody hot all of the time and fuck it.

I was shocked. I didn’t even realise that she was adverse to wearing sleeveless tops, but to a lot of women, it is a problem.

Not me. I am hot (and not in the good way) most of the time and I have been a lifer when it comes to singlet tops. Even though I don’t have Obama arms. There is a slight tuck shop lady wobble. There are a few moles dotted around. One actually likes to grow three back whiskers if left unattended! My body is indeed, a wonderland. There are faint stretch marks on the upper backs of my arms, because, lets face it, stretch marks and by body go together like peas and carrots.

I shared my friends revelation of limb freedom with another girlfriend of mine. She told me that that was her last year! But she didn’t think she could do it again this year.

Now, this particular friend is a very smart woman. You may know her as my co-host of The Hotflush Podcast? Anyway, I stood up to my full height, puffed out my chest and delivered her a rather large dressing down. Some may call it mini-bullying, but I call the truth as I see it. How can we champion women of all types when one is to self conscious to wear sleeveless tops? She told me that she thought her arms looked like strapped hams, so I threw a glass of champagne in her face.*

So for those who need a little confidence boost when it comes to exposing your triceps, here are a few handy hints

DE-FUZZ – You can choose to lazer, razor or wax. Me? I because I abhor any sort of discomfort I turn to ye olde worldy blade. But razors have changed a lot over the years. No orange Bic single blade will darken my bathroom door! I treat myself to one of those fancy mega razors that have built-in soap, a moisture strip, 6 blades, a sparkly disco handle and plays Joe Cocker’s “You are so beautiful…. To meeeeeeee” as you shave off your stubble.

Takes 2 minutes. Regrowth lasts between 5-7 minutes. But it is what I do.

RE-HYDRATE – Your skin will be dehydrated after spending months encased in fleece. Time to get into the habit of slathering on some body lotion whenever you think about it. Which will be never. BUT TRY TO REMEMBER, at least once a day. I swear by this product.

Check it out HERE

DE-LIGHT – At the thought of summer salads and tell yourself you are just going to eat delicious salads for every meal. And walk, and drink only water and never even look at bread ever again. Which brings me to…

DE-LUDED – Croissants and sandwiches and hot chips are awesome and crap like quinoa tastes like dirt. And Pink Gin is IN!

Do you think “I wish I could wear a singlet top…”

Guess what?


The problem as I see it, is that with so many of us refusing to shake off the shackles that is a lightweight cardi, the only arms that we get to see are those that are perfect. If we all decided to show off the phudoobadas, it just would not be a big deal. Think about it. If you have been to Spain or Bali or places similar, you will see no end of batwings, auntie arms, nan flaps, sugargliders or whatever term you prefer, proudly on display.

So with all that being said and done, I throw out the challenge to you. Don a good bra, slap on some fake tan if you want, whack on a tank top and look in the mirror, knowing that you, along with every other Australian woman no matter what shape or size, has the right to bare arms.

*Didn’t really throw a glass of champagne in her face. We were having our Hot Flush Christmas Party and the champagne was French. I really just rolled my eyes at her. The last episode of the year is just below.

So, are you TEAM TANK TOP?