Four Chicks in Byron Bay

I don’t know about you, but quite often I might be sitting around with the Trophy Wives of Lindfield when someone might say something like…

“Did you now that there is a new Yoga Studio opening up? Let’s all start doing yoga together!” And everyone thinks that it is the most brilliant idea since screw top wine so we all talk about how wonderful it is going to be and then no one ever brings it up again?

This story is not like that.

A few weeks ago, my friend Ms. Rawnsley breathlessly texted me. I know you cannot hear breathlessness via text but if you could, this would have been it. Also I need to state that Ms. Rawnsley is not a trophy wife (none of us are actually) and she lives in Potts Point.

“Jetstar has $35 tickets to Ballina! Let’s go to Byron for a weekend!”

It was nearing the end of the school holidays and I don’t think I have ever had a better offer. We wrangled in two more mates, one being the illustrious, world famous Podcaster Mrs. Berry who you might know from the multi-award winning podcast The Hot Flush, and the devilish and mischievous Mrs. O’Neil. We all agreed on a sweet little Air BnB that looked delightful and waited for the big day to arrive.

Now, I ain’t no diva. I backpacked around the world for two years in my youth, collecting many skin diseases, tinea and the like as well as little friends like bed bugs and lice. I have fallen foul to unhygienic practices of the great unwashed in Youth Hostels. I have slept on offerings such as goat skins. But all this happened when I was twenty two and I was just stoked to be able to have Coco Pops for dinner without anyone raising an eyebrow.

But as the years progressed, my standards have lifted somewhat, and the sweet little Air BnB THAT WE ALL AGREED ON, well lets just say it had been a longtime between cleans. The air was fragrance with Essence of Rat Shit and the floor was featuring Actual Rat Shit, of which your feet got stuck to. We all tried to look at the bright side, but there was none. So we flung our bags back into the car and began the frenzy of finding accommodation suitable for human shelter.

And then the God, well she knew that we were in dire straights, and we ended up here.

Four bedrooms, two bathrooms, cute as a button retro house complete with a fully decked out retro caravan for two, should you have to bring your kids. Oh, and it also had a resident guard dog-lizard.

Mrs Berry arrived with a pre-conceived notion that she was going to be offended by hipsters. As I watched her make an Aperol Spritz with her tattoos, blue hair and hipster glasses, I suggested that perhaps she should change her mindset and simply embrace her people.

I had only been to Byron once before and that was for work so I haven’t really ever DONE it, and I really DID it this time. Swimming in the ocean, shopping in lovely independent boutiques, drinking things from jam jars and oh the food! All of the things were eaten. We dropped a fair bit of coin at the Sunday Sustainable Bakery which was sadly located next door…

But it wouldn’t be a visit to Byron Bay without a trip to an Energy Healer. Oh shut up! I can hear your scepticism through the screen! I was recommended to see Rita Cramer at the Byron Medicine Wheel.

I turned up and I was a bit nervous as I wasn’t sure what to expect. Rita invited me into her room.

“Why are you here?” She asked in an accent that I couldn’t recognise.

“Because my friend told me to come.” I told her.

“How can I help you?” Rita tried again.

“I have no idea!” It didn’t start well.

So then she started to tell me a few things about myself while holding my hands. That I was a creative, happily married with two sons and that I was very sensitive to other peoples energies and tended to take on these energies much to the detriment of my own.

So naturally, I burst into tears.

We pulled some tarot cards and she told me that I was a Cancerian which made perfect sense to her. We talked about my childhood and how certain beliefs were instilled in my brain at this time, which have grown with me up until this point. We dissected why my imposter syndrome tended to hold me back when it came to my writing, that I was worried that one day the world would expose me as a fraud.

She swore a lot so I really liked her. She taught me how to release anger by punching things.

Anyway, I will not more you anymore with the ins and outs of my “monkey brain” that likes to tell me fibs, but then she lay me down on a bench and cleared all my blockages which took forever. Then we finished with Rita giving me a stern lecture about myself, but in a positive way. I gave her a hug and that was that.

I will post a follow up in a week to see how I am feeing but I believe the experience, so far, was worth it.

Sadly our four day stint away came to an end far too quickly and as we waved goodbye to Mrs Berry at Ballina Airport, as she had accidentally booked herself to fly back a week later, we cursed Jetstar and their slack ways as there were many seats available on that flight and the boarding people had told Mrs Berry that she had to go back to the check in counter to get a new boarding pass but the lady at the check in counter had gone out for an extended ciggie break.

Mrs Berry then had eight hours to discover the delights of Ballina Airport. The highlight was two, very stained and quite aromatic couches that housed the stench of a billion farts of stranded travellers.

Oh so yes, here are the details and recommendations of all of the things.

We stayed at Frankies Beach House

We ate at and loved the following restaurants

The Mez Club

Bang Bang

Bayleaf

Coffee and superior baked goods at Sunday Sustainable Bakery

And I got my head and energy sorted by Rita at the Byron Medicine Wheel

Are you a Byron Bay Fan?

What are your favourite things to do there?