Let’s talk about sex

Ok, so we won’t be talking about my personal experiences, which is as sexy as “Quick, the kids will be back in 45 minutes!” but more interestingly I want to discuss how sex can be a very powerful tool when one is mending ones broken heart.

This is the tale of two dear friends of mine.

They share a similar story. Fell in love, got married, had children, to come home one day to find that their husbands have left them for younger models. You know the drill. A tale as old as time. Turn into complete deadbeat dads (my friends have 6 teenaged boys between them….) and have little or nothing to do with their sons.

We shall refer to my mates as Mrs Berry and Mrs Bates from here on in.

Both amazing women, bringing up their boys beautifully, but fully blindsided by the actions of the men to whom they said “I do.”

Once Mrs. Berry’s heart had began to heal, she started to miss the physical stuff. So she started out with internet dating. She wrote a perfectly lovely profile, put of a nice picture of herself and waited for the response.

And she waited.


One night she was having a few drinks with her pals when she cried those words of desperation.


Her friends had a look at her dating profile and agreed that it would be very effective is she was wanting a position as a Sunday School Teacher, but basically that was about it. So they reworked the bio into something that was a little more direct, whacked a picture up that showed her cleavage and boom. She was in business.

She spent months in what she calls her “alley cat” phase and we all lived vicariously through her as she shared her nocturnal adventures. There was the BMW guy, the virgin and many more. Eventually, her path lead her to the love of her life, but she always looks back at this period in her life with fondness.

She even sent me this to include in this story.

It was so fun, to have that nervous excitement and feeling like you are going to vomit and then realising that you are all adults with wobbly bits and imperfect bodies just looking for connection. And how exhilarating it is to tap back into something that you had lost.

So as the sunset on Mrs. Berry’s Alley Cat years, it had just begun for my dear friend Mrs. Bates.

With her relationship gone, and her ex-husband sweeping their children’s Nanny back to the UK ( I know – speechless) she got on with the job of working full-time in a high-powered role, all the while raising her two beautiful sons magnificently.

After a while, like Mrs. Berry, she also yearned to feel the weight of a man, or at least get a pash in the carpark. She was more of a traditional gal, an English rose, with glowing pale skin, gorgeous flowing auburn hair and a bosom to rival any beer toting wench from a Medieval scene.

Recently, over a glass of wine, I noticed that she was more glowing and radiant than usual. So I asked her if she had anything she would like to tell me.

In short, girlfriend got herself laid!

She went on to tell me that it was the first one night stand she had ever had and it was bloody marvellous! He was a great guy that she met on Tinder. After a bit of back and forth, they met up for a drink at the local pub, and well, one thing led to another and HELLO SAILOR!

Mrs. Bates went on to tell me that she had never felt so empowered in her life. Great sex with a sexy guy, no strings, no drama. She told me that the old Mrs. Bates would have immediately fallen in love with this bloke, and would have started planning their future together. But the NEW Mrs. Bates knew that this bloke was not a long-term investment, totally unsuitable, but he adored her and has since caught up for more shenanigans, while she continues to swipe left and right on her phone.

Has sex changed or have we changed? Just to see these two spectacular friends rise up from being so bloody broken, to having discovered their confidence and truly step into their power, well it is a story that is too wonderful not to share.

They were both very pleased and willing for me to write this post, hoping that there might be other women out there that might be inspired to step out of their comfort zone.

Have you got a similar story to share?