The Politics of the Council Clean Up

Ms. Leith was not amused.

It was that time of year again, Council Clean Up. Decent members of society do the right thing by booking in their free council clean up, where you let them know that your house is full of crap and you binge watched the Marie Kondo Netflix series over the summer, and you realised that nothing sparks you and it all needs to get put out of the curbside to be banished from your life FOREVER…..

Ms. Leith had done the right thing and now had legal claim to a 3 metre squared space outside her home. She spent the weekend ferrying things from her abode to the kerb. And then she noticed something.

People had been adding to her pile!

She went into high vigilante mode. She didn’t have to wait long.

Down the street he came, holding an old, rotting cane basket that once housed a Christmas Hamper from a work colleague back in 1994. As he gingerly place it on the pile, Ms. Leith pounced for Ms. Leith is not one for bending the rules. I once travelled with her and there was a huge Indian Wedding being held at the resort we were staying and despite me pleading with her, she refused to gatecrash it with me…..

But back to the story.

Words were spoken, an apology was issued, offending articles were removed and once again the sleepy streets of Lindfield were safe. Or so we thought….

Just a few blocks away, a man who we shall call Mr. Woog was acting suspiciously. Throughout the day, he had been collecting detritus from the Manor that were no longer useful. These included old printed canvases that his gorgeous trophy wife had purchased over the years from the Internet, a K-Mart circular shelf that acted like a dust magnet and many a sequined mermaid cushion. Amongst the collection was a few terracotta pots and an unused dog bed. As darkness fell, his operation went into play.

All items were placed on display, right in frontĀ of the neighbours collection of broken crap. And then came the third type of player in the politically confusing thing that is Council Clean Up day.

Other trophy wives crawling the kerb in their Audi Four Wheel Drives.

In and out of the cars they get, to rifle though other people piles of rejected junk. If you get in early, you could actually score a new outdoor setting! An occasional table, or perhaps a vintage lamp. But no one EVER picks up the walking treadmills. They seem to breed during Council Clean Up time. Like abandoned solders guarding each house that once saw them as the key to health and wellbeing, only ending up being an object in which one hangs up ones wet towel, before eventually being put out for council clean up.

But before you all jump down my throat, listen up. I watched as a black BMW 4WD crawled up to our neighbours pile, get out and put each and every single item that Mr. Woog put out, into the back of her car. So there. Someone is happy with their Eiffel Tower print!

When it comes to Council Cleanups, are there any hard and fast rules?

Have you ever shopped from the gutter? What did you get?