Weapon of Choice

Recently I was at the nail salon where I forked over my hard-earned cash to have some poor girl spread wax all over me and rip out the many unwanted hairs from the roots. My the time she had done my legs, my brows and my moustache, she suggested that I do my face. Blinking through the tears, I waved my white flag and called time on my torture.

Staggering from the back room to the cashiers table, I noticed something.

The salon was full of young ladies getting their fingernails filed into THIS shape.

Known as the “stiletto”, this shape is of course is all Khloe’s doing.

“It’s annoying when people talk about my nails. Trust me, I manage just fine. The same way I take care of myself, I take care of my baby,” Kardashian posted on Twitter.

I can sympathise. I would be annoying to have people talk about your nails. I find it annoying when my friends remark on my dry, cracked heels, and I am not even famous! I have noticed this nail shape on stupid programs I watch on television about marrying strangers, as well as real life examples.

Like watching a group of ladies with these nails trying to use chopsticks. I just couldn’t do it. See a dumpling? SHOVE IT IN YOUR MOUTH AND REPEAT. Talon topped nails have quite the time navigating a pair of chopsticks.

I could see how these nails might be good for picking boogers and removing splinters, but how would one go about squeezing pimples? Ingrown hairs? The simple task of picking up a pen would be difficult and could you imagine typing. Sometimes you can see them clapping and this is what it looks like.

How would you open a can of Diet Coke?

And then there is the most obvious obstacle. How does one use a tampon without causing collateral damage?

Some young lad in California has even put together a guide for fellow-men on how to judge a woman depending on what her nails look like. Nice girls wear neutrals while evil ones wear yellow, or any other primary colours. And you are totally hedging your bets if your lady has black, while or French polish. So proceed with caution, as it could go either way.

I just think that it is all about choice and if you choose to walk around on the planet armed with ten tiny little daggers on the end of your fingers, I say DO IT! Just be careful going to the bathroom or if you are partial to providing hand relief to your fella or your missus.

When it comes to nails, how would you describe yours?