Rock Bottom

“Rock Bottom!”

It is a phrase that is sung out in our house on a daily basis. For example, I will go to make a coffee in the morning only to find the empty carton in the fridge.

“Rock bottom!”

Or, say you go to the bathroom to relieve yourself, finish your business only to discover that there is no toilet paper left and you are home alone.

“Rock bottom!”

Of course these are all small things in the grand scheme of life, but when you add several up in a day, you can easily through your hands in the air and find life just far too difficult and retreat to your couch and scroll through Instagram, checking out everyone else perfect life and realising just how fucked your life turned out.

Why do I have to go to another fucking dance concert tonight? Rock Bottom

Rock Bottom hit fever pitch last night at about 6.30pm. Naturally, people were expecting something to eat so I decided to throw together a Tuna Mornay. Mr. Woog wanted a steak so I said I would cook that while I was whisking away.

Tuna Mornay is a dish that needs 100% of your attention.

I melted the butter while I threw on the steak. I grabbed the whisk and folded in the plain flour. While it came together with the milk, I got the grated cheese from the fridge. Turned the steak. Yelled at the dog to get out of the kitchen.

Into the rue I threw a handful of cheese. I looked closely. What the fuck is that?

There it was. Little specks of green mould. And it was at that exact second that the blare of the fire alarm filled the house.

Everyone ran into the kitchen to helpful tell me that the fire alarm was going off.

“No SHIT!”

“It’s not much mould…” I told myself as I started to stir through the cheese, but then logical Mrs. Woog kicked in and reminded me that food poisoning is NOT fun.

“Fuck it!”

The alarm kept booming as I poured the mouldy cheese goo into a plastic bag and chucked I into the bin. The cat had sniffed out the tuna tin which was opened on another bench and decided to have dinner number two.


Meanwhile, the menfolk of WoogsWorld were running around the house opening the windows and fanning the fire alarm in hope that it would cease and desist, which eventually it did.

I took a couple of deep breaths, reached for the butter again and made a very delicious, poison free dinner and self soothed with two episodes of Law and Order SVU.

And that was yesterday’s rock bottom, and it want not even that bad. Worst Rock Bottom was losing my passport at the airport but that is a story for another day.

Tell me about a time when you were Rock Bottom?