The Gentle Art of Swedish Death Cleaning

I didn’t make that title up. It is a real book title by a cheery lass called Margareta Magnusson. It is almost like she is “FUCK YOU MARIE KONDO! I AM GOING TO DEATH CLEAN!”

Death cleaning, as far as my ten minutes of research has afforded me, is when you take tidying up to the next level. You get your physical possessions on order, get rid of things that are not important to you, sort out your photo albums, shred all of your raunchy love letters and discreetly remove the contents of your special drawer.

You get rid of all of your dodgy pots and pans, cracked crockery and basically throw out the second drawer down in your kitchen. You know, THAT drawer.

You take to your underwear drawer and toss out those stained and holey cottontails.

Basically, you prepare your house so when it’s your time to join the sky fairies, your family will not be left in horror about just how grotty, filthy minded and feral you really were.

My in-laws were truly revolutionary when they death cleaned (although they didn’t actually call it that) a few years ago, having downsized from the large family home in the bush to a small terrace house in McMahon’s Point. They know where absolutely everything is, and got rid of 80% of their belongings. Their place is now serene and calm, and they are surrounded by the things that they truly love.

These days, living the dream has come courtesy of shows such as The Block, where you will only truly be happy if you have a Butlers Pantry off the kitchen. We are building these HUGE houses, complete with home gyms and cinemas, in which you are encouraged to fill it up with “stuff.”

To get the “stuff” to put into your five bedrooms, four-bathroom mansion, you get yourself into debt. Then you lose your job due to the impending recessions, miss all your repayments, blame all the politicians then die due to stress, most likely a heart attack.

But getting back to the trend of publishing books to make you think about how you live and consume, let us open up a discussion of books that might be attractive to publishers.

The Gentle Art of Swedish Death Cleaning DONE

The Japanese Art of Tidying and Organising DONE

New ones to consider?

The Australian Art of thinking about using the Dominos Pizza Voucher that you found on the road.

The North Shore Art of Swearing Silently at Audi Drivers

The Bondi Art of becoming an Instagram Bikini Influencer

Can you think of a useful title that speaks to you?