Hello,​ Endorphins. This is your Captain speaking. Settle in, and stay as long as you please.

“This is Captain Fred speaking. You my have noticed that it is quite the storm happening and trust me when I say, the only person who is more scared of a storm than you, is me.”

“Well thats a fucking great comfort…” I thought to myself as I wedged myself in between Mrs. Goodman and Harriet from Headingley in Leeds, who was heading to Sydney to visit her daughter for two weeks, but the daughter was far too busy with work to pick her up from the airport so her Son in Law Paul had taken the day off, he works as an accountant in Freshwater, and how could she possibly spend another hour in a car after this massive….. well, reader, I think you get the personality of Harriet by now.

I watched out the window at the boom crash opera continued. I looked on in horror as I saw loads of abandoned baggage sitting on the tarmac, getting drenched.

After two hours, Fred appeared in person to appease the travellers. Everyone was in agreeance that the storm was too hectic to take on because suddenly we were all meteorologists. Captain Fred explained to one ravenous punter that we couldn’t commence the meal service while on the ground. There was some good explanation as to why but I missed out on hearing it because it was at that point that Harriet wanted to share some photos of her dogs with me.

And so approximately after three and a half hours of tarmac meditation and hysterics, we were off!

The fact that the sky waiters were short staffed by two members, they ran out of food and the entertainment system had shat itself, well previous me might have had some words and feelings to say. The fact that I was given the side-eye when I requested my second gin and tonic might have stirred up some emotions in the past.

Previous me might have had a complete meltdown, have thrown myself on the ground at the baggage carousel when my bag failed to appear.

But I didn’t. Why?

BECAUSE MOTHERFUCKING HOLIDAY FROM HEAVEN HAD IRONED OUT ALL MY BUMPS, HAD RID ME OF ANY SORT OF ANXIETY AND I WAS BACK BABY, WITH FRESH EYES AND A DEVIL MAY CARE, FUCK IT, IT IS WHAT IT IS ATTITUDE.

Namaste, obvioulsy.

The seventh Woogsworld Hello Me Readers tour was so amazing, The laughs, the food, the sleeping (Special award to Janelle for her average of ten hours a night) Shout out to the staff at the Pullman Panwa Phuket who treated us like we were very important ladies. Which, of course, we all are.

Anyway, I have landed back into the real word and don’t even resent having to wash the entire contents of my soaking wet bag. Mum told me this morning that I should write a strongly worded letter of complaint to the airline. But you want to know something?

Ain’t nothing going to break my stride and my endorphins are running deep. I am going to ride this wave as long as possible.

October 2020. Sixteen spots available.

Any questions or comments?