The Panettone Police

Not since the great drop crotch jean debate of 2012 that played out on my Instagram account, have I received so much backlash from a piece of video content EVER.

I was just walking though Harris Farm, filming a little story for my friends who suffer from inflammation. You see, I had been privy to this piece of information during Monday’s session of Huffy Puffy.

Again I am not a qualified medical practitioner, but if you are susceptible to inflammation, AVOID CASHEW NUTS LIKE THE PLAGUE! Now it might seem that I am coming over all Pete Evans on your ass, but as I do not suffer from inflammation, I can eat all the cashews I want.

But this story is not about cashews. It is about something else I filmed. And my voiceover was non-complimentary so say the very least. It was this.

They are just fucking EVERYWHERE at the moment and I swear of my love of gin that it is possibly the most re-gifted item around this time of year, along with gross, sweet German wine.

I spoke very harshly about the Panettone, about the unappealing taste, the dry texture and its all-round uselessness. Then I popped my phone in my bag and paid for my over-priced broccoli.

A few hours later, I checked my phone only to discover that I had been completely shamed my the Panettone Police! Loads of you are lovers of the lifeless loaf.

A Milanese baker named Angelo Motto began banging out these bins in the earth 20th Century and each Christmas, Italians eat 117 Million of these.

Why am I yet to have an encounter with a panettone that hasn’t ended in my removing the dry dough from the roof of my mouth with a set of chopsticks? And why are many of you so nasty and offended about my dislike of this cake. Is it a cake? WHAT THE FUCK EVEN IS IT?

When it comes to Christmas Treats, whats hot and what’s not?